If anyone orders Melfi Merlot, I’m leaving!

Quick quiz: Which Hudson Valley celeb has their own line of Italian wines, with eight different varietals?

The title kind of gives it away, eh? Well, it’s true, Lorraine Bracco has given birth to Bracco Wines. The Sneden’s Landing actress — who plays Dr. Jennifer Melfi, Tony Soprano’s shrink on the HBO show — began selling her vino early this year, and has been hosing tastings in Bridgehampton, Vegas, and D.C. ever since.

We don’t know if Bracco has given any thought to a slogan, but we’d like to nominate one exchange from (what else?) The Sopranos:

<blockquote><div>

Tony Soprano: Have a drink!

Johnny Sack: I don’t want a f***n’ drink!

Tony Soprano: Have one anyway!

</div></blockquote>

Links: BRACCO WINES, LORRAINE BRACCO’S WEBSITE

“Cameron, you killed the car” … now here’s a TV series

Alan RuckWith the bad news about “Studio 60” canceling out the good news about “3 Lbs.”, we need another new TV show to tip the karmic scales back in our region’s favor. And sure enough, today the good news is all about Piermont resident Alan Ruck (aka Cameron from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”), whose new series,”Drive,” just got picked up by Fox.

According to Variety, the network has ordered 12 episodes on top of the pilot and they’re scheduling it for next spring, to take advantage of an extra cushy lead-in, “American Idol.” As the show’s creator explains, it’s about an illegal cross-country race in which every participant needs to win, but only one can. Imagine “The Amazing Race” on acid, or a cross between “Rat Race” and “The Game,” or “Magnolia” on wheels. Got it? No? We’re not sure we do either.

Anyway, congrats to Ruck.

“FOX SPRINGS INTO ‘DRIVE'” [Variety]

And the winner is…

Alright, the Lower Hudson Valley has spoken. With 179 votes casts, they’ve decided the scariest celebrity ever to haunt our little ‘burb is…Mel Gibson. It was close, he beat Rosie O. by a single vote (68 to 67). In third place was Martha Stewart with nearly 13 percent of the vote, followed close behind by the apparently perfectly harmless Al Pacino (with nearly 12 percent). Good to know!

Thanks for voting and remember, if you spot Mel Gibson in a dark alley…keep your distance. He’s probably more affraid of you then you are of him.

Rosie and David Vs. Bill

oreilly.jpgSo who hates Bill O’Reilly more, Bedford’s David Letterman or Nyack’s Rosie O’Donnell? It’s a tough call. Letterman did call O’Reilly a “bonehead” when the Fox News talker appeared on his show Friday, but Rosie looked like she was about to plow right over poor Barbara Walters (who was sitting between the two) to tear his throat apart.

You be the judge.

Bill on Letterman

Bill on The View

Of the course, the prize for biggest dodge of a question goes to Elizabeth Hasselbeck, who, when Rosie asked her, “Would you ever send your child to fight in the war,” responded:

“I could never send my child to the war, because that child would have to be an adult to be in the army.”

Way to go Hasselbeck!

Stephen Baldwin Watch: “This Week in God” appearance!

It was only a matter of time before Upper Grandview’s favorite evangelical yahoo ended up on The Daily Show’s “This Week in God” segment. Kudos to Samantha Bee for succinctly summing up Stevie B. in nine brilliant words, calling him “the poor man’s Daniel, and the homeless man’s Alec.”

Enjoy the clip. And remember, afterward there will be a quiz on what exactly a “jesuscidence” is.

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Studio 60 on the Deal or No Deal Strip

If that post title sounds a bit obtuse, let me be blunt: Scarsdale native Aaron Sorkin’s “Studio 60” is all but cancelled. At least, according ot Fox News.

For the record, it should be noted that we don’t normally listen to Fox for anything other than Taylor Hicks haircare secrets. But in this case, there are other reasons to heed the rumor: NBC aired “Friday Night Lights” this week instead of “Studio 60” (right at the start of sweeps, no less!); the ratings show that “60” loses half of the 14.4 million audience of its lead-in show, “Heros”; and, worst of all, Sorkin’s baby gets a miniscule eight percent of the all-important 18-49 demo.

Estimated time of death: two weeks from now. Then get ready for “Deal or No Deal: The College Years.”

“‘STUDIO 60’ CANCELLATION IMMINENT [Fox]

Stanley Tucci celebrates Thanksgiving early

On November 14, to be exact. That’s the date that CBS will unveil Katonah native Stanley Tucci’s new medical drama “3 Lbs.” at 10 p.m. Seem kind of early for a mid-season replacement? Well, tough luck for Ray Liotta, whose “Smith” got killed faster than you can say “The Book of Daniel.” Ray, don’t you know that medical dramas are ratings gold?!

Stanley TucciOn the new show, Tucci (who now lives in North Salem) plays a brilliant but unpredictable brain surgeon opposite rising star Mark Feuerstein. The series title comes from the average weight of a human brain. Judging by the 30-second promo clip of “3 Lbs.” — which was about as interesting as watching the paint on ER dry — the CBS marketing crews’ noggins can’t be much more than 2 Lbs., tops.

No. 1 CBS’ NEW SCHEDULE [USA Today]

“CBS MAY NOT WAIT ON ‘3 LBS'” [Zap2It]

Social Diary: Martha, M.D.’s, and Money

The well-to-do and creatively dressed came out Saturday Night to the 3rd Annual Gala Benefit for Northern Westchester Hospital, with an “Asian chic� dress theme. Martha Stewart, who donated $1 million to the hospital, was wearing a long black coat that reached to her ankles (which to my non-style conscious eye, looked more “Matrix chic� than “Asian�). She spent most of the cocktail hour patiently posing for pictures with guests (including one man, whose camera failed to snap three times). The big news of the night was the announcement that Armonk residents David and Mary Boies had donated $5 million dollars to the hospital (and would have the new emergency room named for them).

David—who represented Al Gore during the 2000 Florida recount debacle and who is one of the classiest men in Northern Westchester—told me he hoped his gift would encourage others in the community to give.

And, finally, only at a benefit for doctors could you overhear the following conversation in the Men’s Room�

Man: Doctor X*, it’s Mike K*, you performed my wife’s surgery last year.
Doctor: Oh yes, how is she doing?
Man: Well we got divorced two months ago, so I don’t really care. Good to see you again.

*no names

Kate Snow: 8th Wonder of the World

Kate SnowWhether it’s Esquire’s six-month slow reveal of the “Sexiest Woman Alive” or the $2 million worldwide “Alchemist Dar” treasure hunt (created by Michael Stadther of Pound Ridge), I’m always a sucker for grand, global, multimedia contests. Which explains why the USA Today/ABC “Seven New Wonders of the World” event captured my imagination — and why I’m so jealous of Kate Snow, the Good Morning America weekend anchor, Rye resident, and only person who actually knows what all of the new Wonders are.

Continue reading

Vieira Jumps up the Interview Food Chain

Meredith Vieira and Matt LauerStep aside Matt Lauer, there’s a new NBC hotshot nabbing the Madonna exclusives. Alright, so Meredith Vieira might not have scored the first interview about Mrs. Richie’s quickie, controversial African adoption (that honor went to Oprah, who talked with her via satellite last Wednesday). But the Irvington native now has the first face-to-face sit down with Malawi’s Material Girl. According to the Post, they’re going to tape the interview on Tuesday, and then air it Wednesday, Nov. 3, on the Today show.

“MADGE MEETS REEG, VIEIRA” [Post]

Slush Pile: This week’s news on Martha, Ralph, Lasse, and others.

Some other local celeb news you might have missed this week:

> Ralph Lauren and Martha Stewart agreed to open their Katonah properties to the Bedford Lanes Riding Association. So please, local equestrians, no more taping “Buck Me” signs to the back of Ralph and Martha’s horses. [Daily News]

> According to our TJN colleague and E-Team blogger Pete Kramer, Rockland celebs Jonathan Demme, Bill Irwin (aka Mr. Noodle on Sesame Street), Kevin Clash (another Sesame Streeter: the voice of Elmo), Andrea Martin, Paxton Whitehead, David Straitharn, and Tyne Daly all spoke at Rockland Country Day School’s annual “Evening of Celebrity Storytelling and Auction III.â€? We only wish we could have been there to hear Elmo shout “Show me the money” at auction bidders. [E-Team]

> “The Hoax,” a collaboration of Bedford best buds Richard Gere and Lasse Hallstrom, is getting great early buzz at RomaCinemaFest. Yet according to www.imdb.com, the film, about a bogus Howard Hughes biographer, has had its release date pushed off until April 2007. Hmm, April 1, perhaps? We’re catching on to your marketing trickery, Miramax. [Reuters]