Lorraine Bracco: Poster child for the Realtor racket?

Lately I’ve been in the market for a home and, inevitably, I’ve been become positively addicted to Realtor.com. So much so that I’m actually reading the articles archived on their site. One of which was an interview with Sneden’s Landing homeowner Lorraine Bracco.

Now, I think it’s great that Bracco says Realtors are boss in the Q&A, but her optimism about housing as an investment struck me as a little odd. After all, the home she’s trying to sell in Rockland has been on the market for four years. She’s dropped the price from $4.4 million to $2.9 mil. (Incidentally, it’s still listed on the Mason Sammett site, if you’re interested.)

Yet she still says, “I’ve never had a bad experience with real estate or a real estate professional.” A few other incongruous excerpts from the interview after the break.

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Great moments in Baldwin-brother spoof shows

Upset that we won’t get any new episodes of “Dirty Sexy Money” — and Billy Baldwin’s prescient, spot-on Eliot Spitzer impression — until 2010? Or September at the very earliest? Well, my friends, it is possible to get your Baldwin fix at the local multiplex right now.

Billy (who lives in Bedford) has a small part in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” starring in the show-within-a-show, the mock “CSI” series “Crime Scene.” I’ve never seen somebody lampoon David Caruso quite so perfectly … except, of course, David Caruso himself in “Jade.”

The best part of the whole “Crime Scene” setup — NBC actually created a website for the faux show: nbc.com/Crime_Scene/

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All this got me to thinking: Which Baldwin brother does spoof TV (or film) the best? Remember “Cleaver”? Or, more recently, “The Celebrity Apprentice”?

And the nominees, along with video clips and a poll, are after the break.

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People of the Year — 18. Lorraine Bracco

rm_people13.jpgNobody felt the bursting of the local real-estate bubble quite like Bracco, a.k.a. the shrink from The Sopranos. While the mob series was wrapping up its final season, she tried unloading her two-acre Sneden’s Landing estate. Yet over the course of 2007, the asking price was hacked away like Richie Aprile’s corpse in the butcher shop—as of September, the initial asking price of $4.4 mil has been lowered to $2.9 (call Mason Sammett at 359-4940, if you’re interested). Bracco also lost the Best Supporting Actress race at the Emmys to New Caanan’s Katherine Heigl. But there is some good news: Late in the year she was cast in a pilot for Lifetime; she got a chance to appear on Oprah (albeit to talk about her infidelity to Harvey Keitel); and her brand of vino, Bracco Wines, is already selling tens of thousands of cases. Salud!

Prediction for 2008: Long Island Confidential, the new Lifetime show, doesn’t promise to be nearly as edgy as The Sopranos, but the wine business will continue to boom. Two-Buck Bracco, anyone?

Adapted from “People of the Year,� Rockland Magazine, December 2007

(Illustration by Ismael Roldon)

Suburbarazzi’s Emmy Recap on RNN

Emmy leftovers, anyone? I know this is getting up about a day too late, but I think doing this week’s segment a day earlier than our usually scheduled Tuesday slot on RNN kind of threw everyone for a loop.

Anyway, here’s our recap of which Lower Hudson Valley celebs won and lost on Emmy night, which originally aired Monday night.

Download:

This week’s quiz:
Chappaqua’s Vanessa Williams may have gone home empty handed last night, but her second season of “Ugly Betty” is looking to be even more buzzed about than the first, thanks in part to some very interesting guest stars. Which of these stars WILL NOT be on the show.
A. Victoria Beckham
B. Rick Fox (Williams’ ex-husband)
C. Al Gore
D. Betty White

The answer is after the break.
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Lower Hudson Valley lays claim to at least 3 Emmys; Katherine Heigl’s LoHud membership status under review

emmy-award.jpgLate last week, Ted Mann and I made our picks for who, among our Lower Hudson Valley celebrities, would and should win Emmys. Now it’s time for our scorecard, granting a point for correct guesses as well as Lower Hudson Valley victories.

•SERIES (DRAMA): “The Sopranos” (parts filmed in LoHud; starred Sneden’s Landing homeowner Lorraine Bracco, Purchase College grad Edie Falco and Mount Vernon- and Brewster-raised Michael Imperioli.)

Ted and I thought “The Sopranos” would and should win. And with Bracco also sharing in this victory, everyone gets a point. Ted 1, Chris 1, Lower Hudson Valley 1.

•SERIES (COMEDY): “30 Rock”

While both Ted and I wanted “30 Rock” to win, I thought “Ugly Betty” would take the trophy, while Ted picked “The Office” to claim it. Unlike “Entourage,” which stars Mamaroneck native Kevin Dillon and “Ugly Betty,” which stars Chappaqua resident Vanessa Williams, “30 Rock” has no obvious connection to the Lower Hudson Valley, but we’re all winners in another sense because “30 Rock” is a fantastic show. Let’s hope it’s not doomed with the “Arrested Development” Emmy curse. Ted 1, Chris 1, Lower Hudson Valley, 1.

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More on the Hillary-Sopranos spoof…Johnny “Sack” speaks

Access Hollywood interviewed the Sopranos star who made an appearance in the Chappaqua Senator’s campaign video–filmed at Mt. Kisco Coach Diner this past Sunday. The video’s been catching a lot of attention (Bill O’Reilly even praised it–grudgingly).

Actor Vincent Curatola, who played mob boss Johnny Sack on the series, says he was asked through a friend to take part in the spoof. “I thought it just sounds like fun,” he told the entertainment show.

AP Photo/Clinton Campaign

Despite the fact Curatola says he is unsure who he’ll vote for next year, he says he had some good conversations with the presidential candidate and her husband–both of whom, apparently, are Sopranos fans.

<blockquote><div>They were very, very personable…[Bill] talked to me at length about story lines on ‘The Sopranos’ — different characters, he really seems to be an authentic fan and so is she. She thanked me up and down when she walked in to the set for coming out on a Sunday morning. She really thought it was a noble deed.</div></blockquote>

Hillary Clinton + Bill Clinton + The Mt. Kisco Coach Diner=The first official Sopranos finale spoof

AP Photo/Toby Talbot

The Democratic front-runner filmed a campaign video Sunday at the Mt. Kisco Coach Diner that spoofed the controversial (re: I hated it, everyone I work with loved it) ending to The Sopranos last week. In Hillary’s version, the Senator walks into the local diner and sits down. Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin” is playing in the background, and Hillary scans the room, looking at the various patrons (one of whom is actor Vince Curatola, who played Johnny “Sack” Sacramoni on the HBO mob show; here he’s cast in the infamous “Members Only Jacket Man” role, and ominously walks past the candidate, staring her down (where’s the secret service?)).

HBO Anthony Neste

A casually-dressed Bill soon follows her into the diner and sits down. Unlike the greasy onion rings the Sopranos infamously scarfed down in their final scene, Hillary orders a basket of carrots for her husband, who responds, “No onion rings?”
An abstent Chelsea takes on the Meadow role. After Hillary asks “Where’s Chelsea?” we cut to a car tire hitting the curb outside. “Parallel parking,” the former president replies.

“How’s the campaign going?” he asks.

“Well, like you always say, focus on the good times.”

“So what’s the winning song,” he asks, referring to his wife’s monthlong search for a campaign tune.

Hillary: “You’ll see.”

Bill: “My money is on Smash Mouth. Everybody in America wants to know how it’s going to end.”

Hillary: “Ready?”

Just as she drops her change into the juke box, the scene goes black.

On Hillary’s homepage, however, the candidate announced her campaign song would be Celine Dion’s “You and I.”

Bracco ‘conflicted’ about Paris Hilton, ready to booze in South Beach

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After she appeared on “The View” yesterday, we cleared up one thing about Sneden’s Landing homeowner Lorraine Bracco: No way will she ever take Rosie’s place on the gabfest. When dealt with one of the most gossipy stories of the year — Paris Hilton getting released from jail early — nobody on the show had a single Rosie-caliber colorful remark. Hasselbeck had the good sense to at least call it “disgusting,” but all Bracco could muster was an “I’m so conflicted.” Ohhhh K. Thanks for that, Lorraine.

But even if Bracco is of a dullard on ABC daytime, the “Sopranos” star is well suited to another activity: making wine. And on June 12 next week, she’ll be out promoting her own line of vino, Bracco Wines, at The Las Olas River House in Miami. And if you happen to be in the Miami area this coming weekend, you can catch her and the rest of the Soprano’s cast going into the Devito South Beach, where they’ll be on hand for a big dinner to watch the finale. Cent’anni!

“Dr. Melfi offers taste of the good life” [Miami Herald]

(AP Photo/ Louis Lanzano)

Why did Lorraine Bracco cheat on Harvey Keitel?

bracco-keitel-olmos.jpg

Three words: Edward James Olmos.

I was catching up on some back-episodes of Oprah last night (hey, lay off, the wife is working night and there’s nothing else on TV right now), and I caught an from last week in which the Sopranos star talked about her own battle with depression — a depression, she said, thatgrew mostly out of her messy split with Harvey Keitel and the custody battle over their daughter, Stella. I already knew that Bracco had put out a memoir, “On the Couch,” about the whole ordeal, but what I didn’t know is that the breakup was largely driven by her own infidelity … with Edward James Olmos.

“Eddie was a lovely man,” she said on the show, “And, in all retrospect, Harvey is a good man… It was an immature choice. I was on that river in Egypt, called denial! And I wasn’t mature enough or smart enough or willing to accept that I was unhappy in that relationship.”

Stella was also on the show, talking about how unstable her mom — who still owns a home in Sneden’s Landing — had been while growing up. The topic of how Stella has been seen smooching mom’s costar Robert Iler (aka A.J.), sadly, did not come up.

(Bracco: AP Photo/Stephen Chernin; Keitel: AP Photo/Louis Lanzano; Olmos: AP Photo/Lisa Rose)

‘The Sopranos’ + David Letterman = BFF

dave.jpgLast night, “The Sopranos” featured possibly the shortest clip of “The Late Show with David Letterman” ever seen on another show.

With Bedford’s Paul Shaffer laughing on the TV screen behind a grieving Kelly Moltisanti (played by Cara Buono), last night’s episode continued a history of the two shows playing off one another.

The most notable example of the reverse has to be the Top 10 Things Never Before Said on “The Sopranos,” featuring that show’s lead actors reciting ridiculous lines in front of the North Salem talk show host.

The text alone is funny; the video is hysterical if you can find it. (I tried but had no success.)

By the way, in case you didn’t know, “BFF” is the text-messaging/instant messaging abbreviation for “Best Friends Forever.” One current cell phone commercial features an obnoxious girl who utters this shortcut and speaks almost exclusively in this language of arbitrary initials. It makes me happy I’m with a different phone service. (And yes, I feel old.)

(Associated Press file photo by Adam Rountree)

‘Sopranos’ death of a tales-man: Tim Daly’s screenwriter character killed off

Last night on “The Sopranos,” Tim Daly’s screenwriter character got a fatal splitting headache, courtesy of a bullet fired through his head by a drunk Christopher Moltisanti, coolly played by Michael Imperioli.

Perhaps dying by a “Cleaver” would have been too cliché, even if it was a masterful fusion of “‘Godfather II’ meets ‘Saw.'”

tim-daly.jpgDaly, a Suffern native, had his share of beat-downs on the show, so his ultimate demise wasn’t terribly unexpected, especially since only four episodes of the series remain.

Up next for him, the feature film “The Skeptic” with Tom Arnold and the TV series “Private Practice,” according to Internet Movie Database.

(Associated Press file photo by Victoria Arocho)

The Sopranos kick off the beginning of the end in Putnam Valley

sopranos07_02.jpgI’m sure I wasn’t the only one watching the Sopranos last night who cringed when they saw Tony and Carmela driving up the Taconic to Putnam County. This was sure to be like the “Pine Barrons” episode (shot, by the way, in Harriman State Park) all over again.

I won’t spoil the plot (for those who haven’t seen it yet), but I will share one casualty that wasn’t actually onscreen: Putnam Valley. Sure, the town got a shout out at the tail end of the credits, but in the episode you’re led to believe that Bobby Bacala and Janice’s lakeside cottage is somewhere up near the Canada border. Maybe Vermont, maybe upstate New York. It’s not really said. But here’s the full story, as we reported in Putnam Magazine last fall:

The film crew shot in Putnam Valley in July of ’06 at the home of Cynthia Scheider, ex-wife of “Jaws” star Roy Scheider, on the scenic Oscawana Lake. The 1,600-square-foot cottage is on Hemlock Point Road and was also used in the filming of 2003’s “Mona Lisa Smile.” The production crew was seen at the time parked along Peekskill Hollow Road and they showed up daily for sandwiches at the Putnam Valley Market.

As we said at the time, “there were reports that James Gandolfini (who plays Tony) was seen sporting a made-up black eye, while chucking golf clubs into his Escalade. With Steven Schirripa (Bobby Bacala) also looking bruised, it seems like a major fight may kick off the show’s final season.”

Again, I don’t want to give too much away, but can I just say this: Called it!

(HBO photo of Sopranos at Oscawana Lake: Craig Blankenhorn)