Consider this my last Stephen Baldwin post here on Suburbarazzi. (Hey, I heard that collective sigh!)

Comicon, as you may have heard, is THE place to promote any and every sci-fi or action project in the works. Either that or it’s a very clever plot by Gillian Anderson to round up all world’s uber-geeks and dissapear them in plume of purple smoke.

Until that happens, though, movies like the “Star Trek” reboot, the upcoming “Watchmen” comic-book-turned-blockbuster, TV shows like “Heroes” and “Lost,” and even the “Dr. Horrible” webisodes will continue getting the red carpet treatment. Add to that list one Stephen Baldwin, who has co-created a new comic book series, dubbed “The Remnant.”

For your consideration:  A supernatural thriller cartoon in the vein of “24,” with religious undertones.

 

Baldwin, who has a home in Upper Grandview, summed it up this way to CBR (Comic Book Resources, to those of you not in the know):

“I wanted to do a comic that asked the big questions but answered them in little ways. Philosophy and spirituality are complex beasts, but I believe literature’s purpose is to contextualize these tricky subjects into entertaining stories that speak, not preach, to the reader.”

Baldwin teamed up with the creator of the TV series “Eureka,” Andrew Cosby, as well as Caleb Monroe, Julian Totino Tedesco, and Paul Azaceta to create the new series.

Now, if only we could convince them to do an reboot of that Illustrated Children’s Bible, with Jack Bauer periodically showing up to interrogate the apostles. That I’d pay to see.

(AP Photo/Eric Jamison)

Still not sure whether to cast your vote for Obama or McCain this fall? Well, if you’re part of Upper Grandview actor Stephen Baldwin’s flock, the GOP supporter (who supported Mike Huckabee in the primaries) would like you to know he’s throwing all of his evangelical endorsement power behind John McCain.

But that’s not all. He’s also vowed, in an interview with Fox News, to move to Canada if Barack Obama is elected.

Consider that reason No. 2,304 to vote for the Illinois Senator.

Of course, it’s worth noting that another Baldwin bro, Alec, made the same kind of bizarre threat back in 2000, vowing to head north if George W. Bush won the election. And unless “30 Rock” is filmed in Vancouver, I’m pretty sure he didn’t stick to his guns.

Also, Stephen crossed his fingers while making the pledge and joked “let the media have fun with that,” so he likely wasn’t serious. Still, the prospect of an ex-pat Stephen Baldwin in Canada does actually make a little more sense. I hear acting gigs are far easier to come by in Vancouver these days.

“Celebrities who threatened to move out of the U.S. when Bush got elected” [LA Times]

After dealing with the highs and lows of “The Celebrity Apprentice,” it seems that Stephen Baldwin, everyone’s favorite Upper Grandview evangelical, can handle whatever curve balls the good Lord throws his way. And in the last day, he got a couple. First, he was invited by his friends at the White House down to D.C. to help celebrate National Volunteer Week.

Baldwin was selected to be a kind of “cultural advisor” to the Bush administration over a year ago (I kid you not), and he joined singer Michael W. Smith and other members of the President’s Council on Service and Civic Participation, USA Freedom Corps, Boys & Girls Club of Greater Washington, and the Corporation for National and Community Service for the festivities. Among other things, the event promoted the creation of a new online toolkit designed to help get kids involved in volunteering.

But not everyone is such a big fan of Stevie B’s activism. Chief among his recent critics: brother Billy Baldwin (a former Bedford resident), who has been especially critical of the younger Baldwin’s anti-gay stance. In a recent interview with Out magazine (via AHN), Billy lashed out. The quotes are after the break …

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Upset that we won’t get any new episodes of “Dirty Sexy Money”—and Billy Baldwin’s prescient, spot-on Eliot Spitzer impression—until 2010? Or September at the very earliest? Well, my friends, it is possible to get your Baldwin fix at the local multiplex right now.

Billy (who lives in Bedford) has a small part in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” starring in the show-within-a-show, the mock “CSI” series “Crime Scene.” I’ve never seen somebody lampoon David Caruso quite so perfectly … except, of course, David Caruso himself in “Jade.”

The best part of the whole “Crime Scene” setup—NBC actually created a website for the faux show: nbc.com/Crime_Scene/

All this got me to thinking: Which Baldwin brother does spoof TV (or film) the best? Remember “Cleaver”? Or, more recently, “The Celebrity Apprentice”?

And the nominees, along with video clips and a poll, are after the break.

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I meant to post this yesterday, when, after doing a search for what movie to go see tonight, I discovered a shocker: The new Al Pacino thriller “88 Minutes” was at the bottom of Metacritic’s list of the all-time worst-rated movies. The aggregated critics’ number: 2. Out of 100. Which put it only one point short of the all-time worst movie, “Bio Dome,” starring Al’s Rockland neighbor Stephen Baldwin (Pacino lives in Sneden’s Landing, Baldwin in Upper Grandview).

Fortunately for the flick, a few more reviews trickled in over the last day, and Pacino can breathe a “Hoo Hah!” sigh of relief. The film is now tallying a somewhat less embarrassing 12 (putting it, as of this morning, at #29 on the worst-movies list).

OK, what am I saying, that’s still abysmal. And to think I was giving the trailer for his other upcoming movie, “Righteous Kill,” a hard time. That was just mean.

It’s tough to gauge exactly how much appearing on “The Celebrity Apprentice” goosed Stephen Baldwin’s Q score. But, if the recent Movieguide Faith and Values Awards, aka the Christian Oscars, are any indication, the Upper Grandview homeowner is now hovering on a par with Flat Stanley and Louis Gossett, Jr.

Which is to say, not much better than he was doing while taking on Piers Morgan and Treace Adkins. Now granted, this being a faith-based awards ceremony, it is kind of home turf for Baldwin. Just imagine if they were attending the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards? My guess is that Flat Stanley would have nothing to do with Stevie B.

“Flat Stanley Works the Red Carpet” [LAist]

Scroll down about half-way for the pic of Stephen and Stanley.

(Illustration by Ismael Roldon)

Having Vince McMahon as a guest judge on “Celebrity Apprentice,” that’s just good plain common sense. But dress designer Vera Wang? Why the Pound Ridge resident would want to appear on The Donald’s program, much less to use the NBC airtime to talk up a line of Serta mattresses, is beyond me. Have the Kohl’s sweatshops driven her completely off the deep end?

Also on tap for this Thursday’s “CA” episode: Upper Grandview’s Stephen Baldwin is going to ask to resign. No, not because of any longstanding grudge with Wang, but rather thanks to his stewing grudge with fellow contestant Piers Morgan. It takes me back to the good ol’ days of “Celebrity Mole” and Corbin Bernsen, the last person to bring out Baldwin’s true born-again bitchiness. Ah, good times.

(AP Photo/Richard Drew)

The whole idea of doing “celebrity editions” of reality TV shows has always seemed like a surefire Jump-the-Shark tactic—as reliable a way to kill your show as casting Ted McGinley or having a surprise wedding episode—but clearly these rules don’t apply to “The Apprentice.” As we learned this week, NBC has decided to order up a second season of “Celebrity Apprentice,” and is super-sizing some of this season’s episodes to two hours.

Why exactly the Martha Stewart edition of the show tanked and yet the Stephen Baldwin-Omarosa reboot is booming is beyond me. Perhaps it has something to do with the lack of competitive programming. Then again, with “Lost” back on the air, it’ll be interesting to see what happened to this week’s “Apprentice” numbers. (For the record, I watched “Lost” live and DVR’d Trump & Co.)

As Trump was eager to point out in the NBC press release, ”’Celebrity Apprentice’ [is] the #1 show on Thursday nights so far this year. Ben Silverman and his team have done a tremendous job and Mark Burnett and I are thrilled to begin an eighth season of this amazingly successful franchise.” An NBC rep even went so far as to call the celebrity-ized version “a game-changer for the series.”

Let’s just hope and pray that Ted McGinley gets cast for 2009.

In case it wasn’t already clear from last night’s episode of “Celebrity Apprentice”—during which Upper Grandview’s Stephen Baldwin taunted Piers Morgan with bizarre retorts (“boomerang … boom … remember that … boom”)—now the youngest Baldwin has officially been named to the “Stupid Bitches Club.”

The honor comes from GaySocialites.com (I get these things from Google News alerts, I swear), which also cited his anti-gay marriage position, support for Mike Huckabee, and the film “Threesome” as further evidence of Baldwin’s bitchiness. I would have listed his role as Barney Rubble, from “The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas.” But that’s just me.

(NBC Photo: Justin Stephens)

Watch the clip here.

Be sure to wait for it, wait for it. About halfway through the video is a gem of a quote from Alec Baldwin on his brother—the one who lives in Upper Grandview: “There’s no one more full of crap than Stephen.”

The only thing that that would have been better than that is if he’d done it in the “30 Rock” voice of upstairs neighbor Mrs. Rodriguez.

With or without impressions, though, it’s still great television.

The competition is getting so fierce on “Celebrity Apprentice” that Stephen Baldwin is apparently going to be calling in some favors from brother Alec Baldwin. And here I thought Corbin Bernsen on “Celebrity Mole” was just about the stiffest competition he’d ever face. But he ain’t got nuthin on Gene Simmons and clearly Stephen, that rude little Upper Grandview pig, is as much of a marked man as ever.

The episode featuring Alec is set to air this Thursday, Jan. 19, at 9 p.m. DY-NO-MITE!

“Alec Baldwin and Jim Cramer guest star on next week’s ‘The Celebrity Apprentice’” [NBC]

(NBC Photo: Nicole Rivelli)

Download:

At the end of the video and after the break is the answer to this week’s quiz: Of the following celebrities who have called Mount Vernon home, who was scheduled to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today?

A. Sean “Diddy” Combs
B. Sidney Poitier
C. Phylicia Rashad
D. Denzel Washington

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