On this week’s podcast: Al Pacino’s cinematic abortion, how Jason Bateman got his groove back, and Rosie O’Donnell gets “Crafty.”

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As you probably know if you’ve been keeping up with Suburbarazzi, we’ve become huge Kimberly Locke fans ever since interviewing her last month. So I couldn’t resist making another quiz question about the North Salem songbird. To wit:

After the recent episode of “American Idol” in which Locke performed her new single “Fall,” she told TMZ that one of the contestants tried to ask her out on a date. Alas, she declined. Can you guess which AI hopeful got the big diss?

A.  David Archuleta
B.  Michael Johns
C.  Chikezie
D.  Jason Castro

The answers, as always, is at the end of the clip and after the break.

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It was an interesting morning for Rosie O’Donnell on GMA. First, in an interview with Diane Sawyer, she says she’d like to take Britney Spears’s place as the celebrity posterchild for mental illness.

“I sort of feel Britney has become the poster child (for mental illness). The kid is very young. She never had a childhood. She never rode a Big Wheel. Rather than put her face on mental illness, or Brooke Shields, who had postpartum depression, use me.”

The South Nyacker also confirmed that she’s given up beer. But not because she had any problems with alcohol abuse. Just because she wanted to lose a few pounds. “I’m not by any means sober,” she said. “Beer to me, I love it and I drink it like it’s water.”

Then, later in the morning, she showed off what she’s been up to (other than blogging, vlogging, and going on tour with Cyndi Lauper). You guessed it: writing a book. But it was no ordinary book. It’s an arts-and-crafts project book called “Crafty U,” in which she gives examples of how you too can entertain your child with a ball of yarn, some glue, and a balloon. At least, that’s how she says she’s able to occupy her kids minds since she forbids them from watching TV.

In the best moment of the appearance, after doing an on-stage demo of how to make a bowl out glue-hardened string, she said the creation could double as a hat. Especially for Robin Roberts, O’Donnell added, who has a beautiful bald head. At which point Roberts promptly, bravely whipped off her wig and tossed the string hat atop her noggin.

Now, not to complain or anything, but if Rosie really wanted to take Britney’s place, shouldn’t she have been the one shedding her hair?

Video of Roberts losing her wig

“Rosie shares her views of politics, wealth, fame” [GMA]

(Photos: ABC/Ida Mae Astute)

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At the end of the video and after the break is the answer to this week’s quiz: Born in South Africa, musician Dave Matthews spent the bulk of his childhood growing up in Yorktown, but he’s now lending his voice to TV commercials for the tourism board of the next state he called home. Which state is that?

A) South Carolina
B) Vermont
C) Virginia

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I headed to Queens yesterday to check out a taping of the brand-new, yet-to-be-broadcast CBS game show “Million Dollar Password,” hosted by Regis Philbin.

It turned into a Suburbarazzi goldmine when South Nyack resident Rosie O’Donnell emerged from backstage to try to help contestants to win the big prize. She looked great, jelled with contestants and quickly became a crowd favorite on-camera and off.

And although she didn’t get to host “The Price Is Right,” she proved Sunday that she more than holds her own as a game show celebrity panelist. Skateboarder Tony Hawk was the other celebrity clue-giver for the taping I viewed.

There’s so much more I want to say about what I saw, but because I signed my life away upon witnessing the taping, I’m probably not at liberty to disclose much more until that episode airs.

So why am I comfortable disclosing even this much information? Rosie documented this much on her blog yesterday:

today i shot million dollar password
hosted by regis – who is just the best
the set is HUGE
like millionaire/deal-no deal/1vs100 HUGE
this aint the old password
4 sure

it’s on CBS
in may
fun fun fun

You’d never be able to discern it, but if you watch Rosie’s video in the same post, I’m a maroon blur in the extreme lower-left of the audience at the 1-minute, 24 second mark. I swear.

Oh, and as a game show enthusiast, I really like the new “Password” format. True enough to the original(s), but more exciting.

More details about Rosie’s contributions to the show—and another local connection—after the episode airs, I promise!

(AP Photo/Tina Fineberg)

On tap this week: Rosie’s return to television, how Hillary Clinton got her groove back (with a little help from SNL and Jon Stewart), and the latest on Al Pacino playing the bad guy in the next James Bond film.

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Also, you may have seen Vanessa Williams on the Barbara Walters Oscar special a week ago. During it, she confirmed a whole slew of rumors about her personal life. Which brings us to this week’s quiz: Can you guess which of the following she did NOT cop to?

A. Using Botox
B. Being the victim of racism while growing up in Millwood
C. Living with her 2 ex-husbands in Chappaqua simultaneously
D. Being an a Barack Obama booster

The answer is at the end of the video and after the break.

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And just when you thought it was safe to go back on the boob tube … (cue John Williams score)

Yes, it’s true: Rosie O must be going through some kind of Joy Bahar withdrawl. Why else would she choose to team up with the equally annoying yenta, Fran Drescher, for a sitcom about three best friends.

O’Donnell, who lives in South Nyack, confirmed that she’s working on the new show via her blog. All of which set of a deluge of comments on “Ask Ro”:

“Ro, is it true you and Fran are going to do a sitcom or are you just teasing us?” one wrote.

“True,” said Rosie.

“OMG. . . . you and Fran are going to be the new Lucy and Ethel! I am about to bust at the thought of it,” wrote another fan.

O’Donnell’s reply: “Honey, sign me up.”

Yeah, um, am I the only one who sees this as the god awful idea that it really is? Rosie on MSNBC—that I could see. Rosie as the host of “The Price is Right”—that had a kind of twisted logic, too. Even resurrecting “The Rosie O’Donnell Show” might make sense financially. But this new show, apparently initiated by Drescher, sounds like a nightmare. Even if you took Ro’s best moments from “Nip/Tuck” and crossed them with Drescher’s least annoying spots on “The Nanny,” you’d still have a cross between “Nip/Tuck” and “The Nanny.”

So with that, I’m prepared to declare that the Rosie renaissance has officially jumped the shark. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

“O’Donnell, Drescher may star in new sitcom” [Los Angeles Times]

(AP Photos) 

Ever since leaving The View, Rosie O’Donnell’s blog hasn’t had nearly as many salacious anti-Hasselbeck haikus as it used to. But last week its regular readership was treated to one interesting little “Ask Ro” Q&A:

Kathy writes:

So Rosie, Alcoholic or NOT? Just spit it out! Don’t go all Star Jones on us here. What led to you stopping the Beer? You’ll only help someone else. “you felt it was time�…WHY…inquiring minds…

Rosie’s response:

cause i was drinking too much
cause i didnt want to anymore
cause it is hard to lose weight wen drinking
cause i can never have only one

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South Nyack resident Rosie O’Donnell is usually conclusive with her opinions, so it’s a bit surprising on this Super Tuesday that she’s torn between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Her feelings on the two Democratic presidential candidates were published yesterday on the Web site of the Huffington Post:

It’s still early yet, but so far I find both candidates believable. They are different, with a different mix of talents to bring to the political table, but they both seem to have the passion, plans, drive, and intelligence I want in my next president.

Could a Clinton-Obama or Obama-Clinton ticket be our future? I hope so. I think America would benefit from the strengths of either individual, but if those strengths were combined, we might just have the Democratic powerhouse the country needs to turn itself around, and back into peace, prosperity and opportunity.

Clinton stayed in her hamlet of Chappaqua to cast her vote this morning.

(AP Photo/Tina Fineberg)

Remind us never to mess with Bjork at LaGuardia. The Icelandic songstress, who now lives in Rockland, opened a major can of whoop ass on a New Zealand newspaper photographer when he attempted to snag her shot at a New Zealand airport. As Glenn Jeffrey, the recipient of Bjork’s wrath, reported to the press,

“I turned and walked away she came up behind me, grabbed the back of my black skivvy and tore it. As she did this she fell over, she fell to the ground.”

Jeffrey hasn’t filed suit, but he did speak to the cops. “I don’t see being assaulted as I’m working as a press photographer as an acceptable thing,” he added. “If anybody assaults anybody you have the right to a legal recourse, whoever they are.”

More after the break.

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At last, we’re finally putting our completely overexposed “People of the Year” package to bed. In the clip, we count down the final five people on our list, and Stacy-Ann Gooden makes her pitch for Mary J. Blige (raised in Yonkers, first discovered doing karaoke at the White Plains Galleria).

While she didn’t make the cut for 2007, she’s already a strong 2008 candidate. In fact, aside from Nyack rapper Lucky Me, she’s the only other hip-hop star on our radar screen thus far.

No need to roll your eyes. Aside from Britney, Paris, and Lindsay, few tabloid regulars exhausted the public’s patience quite like O’Donnell. From the never-ending feuds—with Trump, Ripa, O’Reilly—to the now-infamous split-screen showdown with View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the South Nyack resident became a better fight-maker than Don King in 2007. Even after she quit the daytime gabfest (three weeks before her contract was up), Rosie continued churning up controversy in her wake, even going so far as to suggest in her new memoir, Celebrity Detox, that Barbara Walters should retire. But putting aside all the bilious rhetoric for a sec, one thing separates the former Queen of Nice from the aforementioned tabloid bimbos: O’Donnell’s public showdowns all stemmed from a passionate defense of her liberal views (on Bush, the Iraq war, gay rights, etc.)—and not from, say, a lack of panties or repeat DUIs. Her tirades might have been over the top, but her political courage does make her a role model of sorts. That said, if she ever takes your parking spot at the Palisades Center, don’t even think of starting a shouting match—she’s way out of your league.

Prediction for 2008: She may have lost The Price is Right hosting gig to Drew Carey, but we predict a return to network TV, as the co-host of the newest British import, Boiling Point.

Adapted from “People of the Year,� Rockland Magazine, December 2007

(Illustration by Ismael Roldon)

Over the holidays, I’ve been hemming and hawing like Hamlet over whether to get an iPhone. The dilemma boils down to this: Come MacWorld Expo in mid-January, is Steve Jobs going to unveil a brand new version of the gadget? iPhone 2.0, complete with GPS, faster 3G connectivity, and of course 16GB of storage? Yes, I’m a geek. And yes, I’ve decided to wait it out. But in the meantime, I can’t get enough of these iPhone rumors, and in the process of searching for them, I also happened to stumble upon a bunch of stories about Lower Hudson Valley stars who have joined the cult of multitouch. Here are just a few of the ones I found:

Bill Clinton: A guy named B. Ioffe broke the news the Chappaqua resident got his iPhone directly from Steve Jobs. How exactly did Ioffe learn this? By asking the former prez to sign the back of his iPhone, of course (go to the link above for a pic of the signed phone). The Unofficial Apple Weblog also makes a funny observation: “If ex-Veep Al Gore is on Apple’s Board of Directors, why didn’t he snag his old buddy an iPhone himself?”

Rosie O’Donnell: In an interview with Switched, a blog devoted to gadgets and the digital life, the South Nyacker says that she (and her partner Kelli) go everywhere with two gadgets: a Nextel walkie-talkie phone and the iPhone. If stranded on a desert island, Rosie/Kelli says, “I would bring my iPhone. You can do just about anything—from e-mailing and surfing the ‘Net to listening to music, watching movies, and taking photos—on it. What more do you need? Well, besides someone to share it with on the island!!!!”

Me, I’m not so sure. That is, unless iPhone 2.0 comes with a built-in swiss army knife (sort of like the one from this classic Conan O’Brian skit). Oh, and Stevie J., if you’re listening, a flint wouldn’t hurt either.

(AP Photo/Jason DeCrow)