New Rochelle product Vincent Pastore, whose character on “The Sopranos” both “slept with the fishes” and was the voice of one during a subsequent Tony Soprano dream sequence, in so many words said fuggetaboutit to “Dancing With The Stars” last week.
Pastore’s heart problems were a factor when he participated in VH1’s “Celebrity Fit Club.” According to the Associated Press, he released the following statement:
<blockquote><div>I didn’t realize just how physically demanding it would be for me. Unable to put forth my best effort, I felt it appropriate to step aside and give someone else the opportunity.</div></blockquote>
In other words, one could argue that he lived up to his “Sopranos” character’s nickname.
It’s been reported that Cliff Claven himself, John Ratzenberger, will replace Pastore. On the ABC show, not the HBO one. Although that would be pretty funny to see Claven ask Uncle Junior for a “favor.”
<blockquote><div>Uncle Junior: (answering door) Claven?
Cliff Claven: Norm!
Uncle Junior: Not Norm. Junior. Jeez, and I thought I was the one losing my mind. Come in and have some lasagna.
Cliff Claven: Due to the shape of the North American elk’s esophagus, even if it could speak, it could not pronounce the word lasagna.
Uncle Junior: Cut the [expletive] chit-chat. Whaddya want?
Cliff Claven: Well, Tony won’t talk to me ever since I botched his “special delivery,” so I figured I’d talk to you about my needs. (Looks both ways.) Stamps. $2 million worth of those 2-cent varieties.
Uncle Junior: The ones that fell off the back of the truck?
Cliff Claven: (Nods.)
Uncle Junior: OK, fine. But I’m only doing it because I owe a favor to both Johnny Sac and Sam Malone. But in return, you gotta remind Lilith to strong-arm Frasier. He’s late on his payments again.</div></blockquote>
This juxtaposition begs a few questions. Which “Sopranos” actor/actress would you most want to see on “Dancing With The Stars”? And which “Cheers” character would make for another entertaining “Sopranos” exchange?