Does Donald Trump have a secret schoolyard crush on Rosie O’Donnell?

Think back to your early grade-school days, when some boys pulled the ponytails of girls they liked. (I’ve never believed in physical harm to win the attention of the opposite sex, but then again, I was also too busy playing with Transformers back then to be a ladies’ man.) Back in my childhood days, said boys would tease girls they found cute and maybe chase them around the playground with a worm dug up from the Greenvale Elementary School field in the secret hope they would find mutual attraction.

Could Donald Trump have been doing the verbal equivalent of worm-chasing Rosie O’Donnell these last six months?

Credible reports indicate that this billboard — implying a Trump marriage proposal to Nyack’s contributor to “The View” — was the work of a prankster, who painted over a sign promoting a Trump appearance at a real estate and wealth expo, but I’m not having it. I’m going to believe (OK, I’m going to pretend) that The Donald decided to reveal his true feelings through a random Toronto billboard.

If this were true, who knows what other recent rivals the Bedford property owner had a crush on? Bedford resident Martha Stewart? Sarah Lawrence College alumna Barbara Walters? Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban?

And weirder still, what if Rosie O’Donnell actually accepted this proposal and the two got hitched? My brain just exploded.

Thanks to Michelle Collins of BestWeekEver.tv for bringing this lovefest to my attention.

(Associated Press file photo by Dennis Cook)

Mark Cuban: Billionaire, HD enthusiast, 3rd wheel in Trump-O’Donnell dogfight

tjndc5-5c4pn6bn7fmenjupk5d_layout.jpgWhy anyone would want to prolong the Rosie vs. Donald feud another week is beyond me. Oh, wait, that’s what I’m doing right now? Pfoey.

At least I’ve got good company in the form of Dallas Mavs owner Mark Cuban. The billionaire joined the fray just before Christmas, with a scathing “Trump the Chump” post to his blog. In case the title doesn’t give it away, Cuban has seized this moment for a little end-of-year Trump enema — he bashes “The Apprentice,” Trump University, Trump Magazine, Trump the Board Game, and Trump Water.

I can’t really fault Cuban, who was mocked repeatedly for the ill-fated “Benefactor” TV series, for holding a reality-TV grudge. But his assessment of the current Trump feud is a stretch to say the least:

<blockquote><div>

This is about the role of blogs in all of this and how it really shows who understands new media vs old media.

Rosie gets it. Rosie has a blog, and she is using it in her battle with T the C. Its actually pretty good.</div></blockquote>

Saying that Rosie’s stream-of-consciousness r blog trumps the opinions of the Trump Blog (i.e. the Trump U faculty) — I’ll give you that. But hailing Rosie’s Alexa traffic numbers as evidence of her superiority in the information era? That’s just about the saddest argument I’ve ever heard.

(AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)