Let’s Recap: Lessons Learned from the Sextortionist Saga


• Pepsi does not take kindly to its Somers executives trolling for tarts on Craigslist. [Journal News]

• When extorting adulterers, $30,000 is a perfectly reasonable sum to ask for — especially when you can seduce them with your rockin’ bikini bod. Asking them to wire $125,000 to an e-gold account, however, will cause them to call in the FBI and spill all. [Smoking Gun]

• Waverly, NY, between Elmira and Binghamton, is the last known residence of Wolcott, and is one of the more rural parts of the state we’ve seen. And her hometown, Nichols, NY (population 574) looks positively depressing. So really, we can’t fault Jess for eating spackle and needing to booze it up with the Captain.

• Don’t ever mess with the bitter smartmob that is Prosper. Within less than a week, they’ll have your car’s VIN #, copies of the sonogram you faked to scam an ex-boyfriend, and a scan of your divorce papers.

• Mount Kisco bars have replaced Bronx motels as the rendezvous point du jour for area sleazemeisters and dominatrices.

• Seeing as how former Pepsi Bottling exec Gary Wandschneider likes to think of himself in cinematic terms (see his parting email to employees), and he sports a killer mustache, we’re voting for Burt Reynolds to play him in the movie version of all this. [Cast your own vote at Dealbreaker]

• No matter how flush you are with extortion cash, don’t buy a Saab convertible off eBay — especially if it’s being sold as “salvage.” And if you do, please hide the evidence!

• Philadelphia has fantastic WiFi access! And Walnut Street has amazingly cheap rents! It’s the ideal setup for any would-be extortionist. [Smoking Gun]

• Wolcott may have had a rocky history with her mom, Debbie — at least, according to her ex-husband — but the two now appear to be best buds. So chummy, in fact, that they’ve both had Prosper money-making scams going on simultaneously. [JessM’s profile, with 90k in loan scams; DebbieS’s profile, with $66k in loan aps]

• While hugging is clearly controversial, Hug Boy didn’t have anywhere near as much staying power as the Sextortionist. Oh, how we miss you, Aaron Perez.

• Jess, in case you’re reading this, Mary Aleandri — you know, the mom of that guy you were cheating on Kyle Strait with — is still pulling for you. As she commented to a post below, “You can change, and you’re so young yet.”

• Gawker likes us, they really like us!

UK rivals Putnam Valley in the War on Hugs

Aaron PerezSure, Putnam Valley Middle School’s suspension of would-be hugger Aaron Perez shows a firm commitment to ending that abominable practice of student-teacher embraces. But it turns out that the UK is taking an even harder line. According to this article in the Sun, a British headmaster has one-upped Putnam Valley Schools Superintendent Gary Tutty by banning hugging altogether.

Hugging was happening extensively and becoming the norm,” explained hug tsar Steven Kenning of Callington Community College in Cornwall. “We were worried it might become inappropriate. So we nipped it in the bud.” The Sun article goes on to say that Kenning has also suspended a student for streaking his hair, which, while morally reprehensible, would only warrant a strenuous lanyard whipping in our book.

(via Blogging Baby)


Like father, like “Hug Boy”

Turns out that Aaron Perez, the 10-year-old Putnam Valley kid who got in deep doo-doo for asking his teacher for a hug, isn’t the only member of the family who’s been suspended. Meet Papa Hug Boy.

Aaron and Samuel PerezAccording to a 2003 NY Times article the boy’s father, Samuel Perez, an NYC police officer, was accused of nine violations of police procedure, including lying to department investigators, and was suspended without pay. What’s more, the charges sprang from racially motivated hate crime and the allegation that Perez and his partner discouraged a black college student who was attacked from filing a police report.

Given the stain on his own career, it’s understandable why Perez (the bald fella standing behind Aaron in this photo) would feel so passionate about getting the suspension off his son’s permanent record. What isn’t clear is why the parents would be so quick to play the race card, especially given Samuel’s own past indifference to racial bias. Sounds like somebody needs a hug.


“Hug Boy” Puppet Master Revealed

We found him. The evil genius who turned 10-year-old Aaron Perez from a sweet, young, Putnam Valley grade-schooler into a stark-raving, sexy-talking, hug addict.

WATCH THIS YOUTUBE CLIP at your own risk.

Like “The Ring,” it’s liable to drive you hug crazy. Just look at this poor copycat soul in South Korea, just itching to get suspended for overenthusiastic embraces. Though, on the flip side, if free hugs get you on Oprah, then maybe there is a future in it. Carry on, Aaron, carry on.


“Hug Boy” Liiiike you, “Hug Boy” Liiiike sex

Aaron PerezAt first we thought that Aaron Perez — the Putnam Valley 10-year-old who, in a really bizarre sequence of events, told his teacher she was “sexy,” then asked for a hug, then got suspended for being overly affectionate — didn’t have celebrity staying power. Boy, were we wrong.

Soon after the Journal News put the story in its front pages and our buds at Juggling Acts expressed outrage, Perez appeared on the O’Reilly Factor, saying “She looked pretty that day, so I said ‘you really look sexy today.” Right on, brother! Borat would be proud.

Today our blog siblings at The Hall Monitor have declared: “Hug boy now an international celebrity.” Not only do Aaron’s classmates have “Hug Boy” fever, but “Everyone wants a piece of the story, including Spanish-language networks Univision and Telemundo.”

Who are we to shun a media pile-on? And besides, we haven’t had much luck finding celebs in Putnam County. We’ll take who we can get.

So, welcome to the Suburbarazzi, Aaron. We’ve got our eye on you.