Brangelina twins born, anticlimax ensues

Big secret: I’m not big on celebrity baby news.

brangelina.jpgI know, I know. What kind of Suburbarazzo am I? Oh, that’s right. A single dude without kids. So, there’s that.

But before you complain about my indifference, consider all the hype leading up to the birth of twins in France by former Sneden’s Landing resident Angelina Jolie and boyfriend Brad Pitt. Yes, the parents are beautiful people, if you consider special editions of People magazine, charitable causes and overall hotness. But one might’ve thought that with yesterday’s arrivals of Knox Leon Jolie-Pitt, a boy, and Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt, a girl, would come with an end to worldwide war, pestilence and famine. (No one ever mentions pestilence anymore. And that’s a shame.)

twins.jpgSo when the mayor of Nice emerged next to Jolie’s obstetrician to hoist Knox’s birth certificate into the air as if it were the panacea for AIDS, cancer, malaria and the common cold combined, forgive me if I forgot to cover my mouth when I yawned.

At least this time, compared to Entertainment Tonight’s supposed “exclusive” six weeks ago, yesterday’s report appears to be true.

But while paraparazzi trip over themselves to try to land the coveted exclusive baby photos, let’s just remind ourselves that — with the rare exception depicted on “Seinfeld” — all babies are really cute, so it’s really no big deal.

Yes, I’m bitter I can’t take the first photos of the twins and hock them for millions. What was your first clue?

(AP Photo of Brangelina/Matt Sayles; AP Photo of birth certificate/Claude Paris)

Susan Sarandon has ‘sat through a lot of bad family movies’

susan.jpgFortunately for her, Disney’s “Enchanted” — tops at the box office for a second week in a row — isn’t one of them.

The Pound Ridge resident told the Winnipeg Sun she enjoyed her experience working on the fairy tale, which dances between the cartoon world and the real world, also starring the stunningly gorgeous Amy Adams and Some Dude From “Grey’s Anatomy”:


I’ve sat through a lot of bad family movies so I’m happy to be in one that’s not painful for parents.


Suburbarazzi fans know that one flick she didn’t see all the way through with her son, Jack, was “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” Proof that not all celebrity actors insist on scarring their children for life.

(AP Photo/Keystone, Martial Trezzini)

CNN poll voters: Keep Judge Judy away from my legal briefs!

judge-judy.jpgNearly two of every three voters in an unscientific CNN poll said they would not want Judge Judy Sheindlin making legal judgments in their lives.

With 9,477 people voting as of 3:04 p.m. EST, here were the poll results:


Would you want Judge Judy to preside over your court case?
Yes: 38 percent (3,643 votes)
No: 62 percent (5,834 votes)


Perhaps most voters feared that adding insult to the injury of losing a case would be to hear her say, “Goodbye! Have a happy life!�

Judy Sheindlin will return to Larry King’s talk show set tonight at 9 p.m. EST. In a February appearance on the show, she discussed everything from Anna Nicole Smith’s death to her support of a Putnam County District Attorney candidate who just happens to be her son. Sheindlin was in Brewster on Tuesday to celebrate Adam Levy’s uncontested election win, which appeared to tally more than 13,000 votes.

(Photo courtesy of Gannett News Service.)

John Schneider’s cool dad character abandons Superman, but returns for ‘Sydney White’

js.jpgWhen a Good-Ol’-Boy grows up, it must make him a Cool-Ol’-Dad.

Take Mount Kisco native John Schneider, who got his big break playing the playfully rebellious Bo Duke on “The Dukes of Hazzard.” Almost two decades later, Schneider would win over a completely new generation, portraying überprotagonist Jonathan Kent — Clark Kent/Superman’s adoptive father — on “Smallville,” only for his character to die of a heart attack in the series’ 100th episode.

But Schneider’s days of playing paternal with panache continue on the big screen. He serves as father figure to another legendary character in the upcoming Amanda Bynes movie, “Sydney White.” In the movie trailer for this retelling of “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” Schneider tells Bynes’ title character, “Your mom would be so excited…” making it approximately the 2,194th time he’s expressed emotional pride to on-screen offspring in the last seven years.

The most devout Suburbarazzi might recognize the trailer’s biggest scene-stealer. Jeremy Howard, at 6’3½,” is the tallest of the reinvented “Dwarfs.” He provides the trailer’s final punch line — or, more accurately, the trailer’s repeated-door-frame-face-slam line.

What’s Howard’s extended connection to the Lower Hudson Valley? Find out after the break.

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Susan Sarandon’s daughter rejects offer to play mom’s role in ‘Rocky Horror’ remake

eva2.jpgFor the second time in three months, a child of Pound Ridge resident Susan Sarandon had an uncomfortable exchange involving Sarandon’s role in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”

Her daughter, Eva Amurri, recently was offered Sarandon’s role of Janet Weiss in a “Rocky Horror” remake. Ben Widdicombe of the New York Daily News cites a “friend” to describe Amurri’s response:

She thought it was funny, but she turned it down because she’s more serious than that. She said, ‘Can you believe that’s what they’re offering me?’

Sarandon’s 18-year-old son, Jack Robbins, reportedly admitted in June to a Manhattan audience that he was viewing “Rocky Horror” in full for the first time. The Daily News said Jack — whose father is Tim Robbins — admitted “he’d never seen the film all the way through because his mother wouldn’t let him watch ‘the naughty parts.'”

Thanks again to Witticombe, who also reported today on the unusual Clinton-Gore reunion at Mars 2112.

(AP Photo/Louis Lanzano)

From ‘Sydney White’ to ‘Black Widow,’ son of ‘Mathnet’ cop continues Hollywood roll

jhoward.jpgIn January, I interviewed Yonkers native Joe Howard, known by me and other hard-core “Square One TV” fans as crime-solving mathematician George Frankly on the “Dragnet” spoof called “Mathnet.” During the phone interview, we briefly discussed his son, Jeremy Howard (right), an emerging actor in his own right. Turns out Jeremy’s been popping up everywhere since then.

In addition to hitting on Rebecca De Mornay’s character — then arguing with her — as a store clerk in the debut episode of HBO’s “John from Cincinnati,” the younger Howard has another supporting role in the upcoming Amanda Bynes feature film “Sydney White,” a modern-day retelling of “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”

Check out Jeremy (in the green shirt) among a group of guys who appear to be the seven “dwarfs,” which only serves as irony as he is listed as 6′ 3½” on Internet Movie Database.

Jeremy also secured roles in two TV movies this year, including “Jane Doe: Eye of the Beholder,” starring Lea Thompson and “Black Widow,” starring Jessie Spano herself, Elizabeth Berkley.

No word as to whether or not he greeted Berkley with “I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so … scared!”

Ivanka Trump to replace Rosie O’Donnell on ‘The View’?

AP/Damian Dovarganes

So if you’re Nyack resident Rosie O’Donnell, and you leave “The View,” what must it feel like to know that the daughter of one of your fiercest rivals might take your place on the show?

Yes, Ivanka Trump — daughter of The Donald — has been one of the names dropped for the coveted Rosie seat, according to

Admittedly, while Ivanka has appeared on “The View” before, the supposed reasoning behind this rumor seems a bit far-fetched. Hollyscoop reports that Sarah Lawrence College alumna Barbara Walters “wants to hire Trump to [tick] off the Hiltons for the treatment she received during the shopping of the Paris post-jail interview.” Indeed, it’s a shame that story didn’t receive more coverage.

Let’s pretend the rumor’s legit. And no matter whose side you’re on, let’s also forget the back story for a split second. I’ve always considered Ivanka Trump to be rather eloquent and surprisingly well-adjusted. She could be a darn good cohost.

I’m still rooting for Mario Cantone, however. That guy cracks me up.

NFL Europa folds; Denzel Washington’s son needs new employer

AP/James A. Finley

As if it weren’t rough enough seeing his former team win the World Bowl on Saturday, adding insult to injury for running back John David Washington was the National Football League’s decision today to shut down its European development league after 16 years of operation.

So ends a rough year professionally for the son of Mount Vernon’s Academy Award-winning Denzel Washington. Because the former St. Louis Rams signee didn’t see any game action this season for NFL Europa’s Hamberg Sea Devils, he signed May 21 with the development league’s Rhein Fire with the hope of making an impact. But he rushed just 5 times for only 5 net yards in his first two games with the Fire before finding himself on the bench again for the last two games of the season.

Six days after the Sea Devils defeated the Frankfurt Galaxy, 37-28, to win World Bowl XV, the NFL folded the development league. It reportedly was losing “about $30 million a season,” according to ESPN.

I’d feel bad for John David Washington, but I think this is just an omen. If he has one-tenth the talent of his dad and likes show biz, he should pursue acting.

Susan Sarandon’s son, 18, finally allowed to see ‘naughty parts’ of her film

(AP Photo/Keystone, Martial Trezzini) Some 32 years after Susan Sarandon starred as Janet Weiss in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” her 18-year-old son reportedly admitted to a Manhattan audience that he was viewing the film in full for the first time.

Jack Robbins — whose father is actor Tim Robbins — identified himself at a midnight showing of the film in Chelsea, where he told die-hards “he’d never seen the film all the way through because his mother wouldn’t let him watch ‘the naughty parts,'” according to a June 19 item published in the New York Daily News.

Strict parenting? From a celebrity couple? Stop the presses!

Admittedly, Sarandon’s role in the movie is more suggestive than explicit, but I do understand the wait. Had a younger Jack seen his mom in the full-length flick, it might not have been the easiest conversation at the family’s Pound Ridge dinner table.

Buzz abounds as Bill Clinton checks out Broadway ‘Bee’

bill.jpgBill Clinton, who resides in Chappaqua, traveled south to New York City on Friday night to see “Putnam County.”

No, that’s not a typo.

If that seems oxymoronic, you might not be familiar with the Broadway show called “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.” He saw that. Ah, there you go. Welcome back.

As Shira Levine of New York magazine reports, the former president was accompanied in the audience by his mother-in-law, Dorothy Rodham, who was celebrating her 88th birthday; and his daughter, Chelsea, who recommended the play and brought along her boyfriend, Mark Mezvinsky.

The former president appeared to be careful about displaying emotion as the comedy unfolded:


He stayed stoic during flippant jokes about the word ‘Mexican’ and was studiously impassive during a limerick denouncing the current president’s unruliness and spelling skills. But some moments got full-fledged presidential laughs, like when an audience member invited onstage was asked to spell ‘vermeil.’ ‘Had he known that his official duties would include selecting a china pattern to match the vermeil tableware,’ said [former ‘Daily Show’ correspondent] Mo Rocca, playing the vice-principal, ‘Billy never would have supported his wife’s candidacy.’ And, of course, when one character says that her goal is to become ‘secretary of education under President Chelsea Clinton,’ the whole audience roared its approval.


View Levine’s entire article, including a photo of Mo and Bill, here.

(Associated Press file photo/Charlie Riedel)

Euro trip: Denzel Washington’s son struggles with new German football team

tjndc5-5ec2dmgihfm14q7ey73u_layout.jpgFootball running-back John David Washington, son of Mount Vernon’s Academy Award-winning Denzel Washington, is trying to find his stride for the rest of the NFL Europe season in Düsseldorf after failing to see game action with rival Hamburg.

(Hmm. Did that make him a Hamburger? Mmm… curly fries. Wait, what was I talking about again?)

The younger Washington, who was signed by the St. Louis Rams after breaking rushing and touchdown records at Morehouse College, started the year with the Hamburg Sea Devils. He rode the bench while the Sea Devils went 3-3 to start the league’s 10-game regular season.

On May 21, he left one German squad to sign with another — the Rhein Fire, the Düsseldorf club that was in last place at the time with a record of 2-4 in the six-team league.

The good news is that Washington has played in both of Rhine’s games since he signed with the club. The bad news is after the break.

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Welcome to Pelham, Isabella


Isabella Rossellini (who made a name for herself in the 80s starring in David Lynch’s Blue Velvet, and it’s lesser-known sequel, Blue Cashmere: The Rise of Winter wear) was in town Saturday to introduce a new movie about her famous director-father, Roberto Rossellini (if you’ve never heard of him please stop watching Desperate Housewives on your Tivo and rent Voyage to Italy immediately!!!).