The latest update on the DMX dog-abuse in Arizona is in, and the Maricopa County sheriff can now confirm, officially, that the pit bulls dug up in the rapper’s back yard had “serious wounds.”

Uh, um, ok … well, wasn’t that kind of a given, seeing as how they were dead and all?

I suppose old age could have been the cause, but after finding 12 other abused dogs still alive in the house, it wouldn’t have been such a big leap to assume that’s how the three in the back yard ended up that way. The sheriff confirmed to the AP that one dead dog had serious bite wounds, another had trauma to its abdomen, and the third carcass was so badly burned that an exam was inconclusive as to the exact cause of death.

The police still have yet to file charges against the rapper, who has a house on the Mount Kisco/Bedford border, but the sheriff told the AP, “Someone’s going to have to pay for this. We have 12 dogs who were abused and three dogs buried in the yard.”

Meanwhile, DMX’s lawyer, Murray Richman, replied to the allegations: “How do you attribute activities to a person who has not been there, when they have knowledge that other persons have been. Is it because of the celebrity nature?”

Perhaps, Murray. If a dog dies in the backyard of a person previously convicted of animal cruelty, was it really abused?

I say, no, provided said animal abuser is out of the country, ducking multiple warrants already out for his arrest.

MORE: Previous DMX Posts

(AP Photo/ Louis Lanzano)

Here’s an interesting theory, espoused by Boston’s Weekly Dig blog. Maybe Mount Kisco rapper DMX isn’t actually the dog abuser that the Arizona cops have painted him to be. Perhaps, in fact, he’s just a misunderstood animal lover—someone who loves doggies so much he had a pit bull tattooed across his back, uses dogs on his album covers, and even launched a line of canine couture (which, incidentally, he’s now being sued over).

After the break, I’ll recap blogger David Thorpe’s theory on the whole Earl Simmons quagmire, and how it all basically boils down to a simple “Of Mice and Men” pathos.

Mind you, he’s still knee deep in Westchester arrest warrants, charges of animal cruelty, and weapons possession. But hey, the guy will take what he can get.

The latest AP update to the raid on the rapper’s Arizona home came last week, as investigators confirmed that the chunky substance seized from DMX’s bedroom was not meth or any other illegal drug. I’m guessing maybe BC headache powder, is a dead ringer for at least a half dozen narcotics, or else pit bull creatine.

Anyway, that’s the good news. The bad? They still found a sizable quantity of illegal marijuana.

Oh, also drug paraphernalia, guns, ammo, and—worst of all—three dead dogs. Throw in the 12 other malnourished dogs that were taken into custody and, well, the man is still in quite a pickle. Although no charges have been filed yet, it now seems all but certain that the artist, also known as Earl Simmons, will soon be a wanted man in two states (I’ll spare you the full recap of his two outstanding arrest warrants in Westchester).

The big question, then, is simple: Where the heck is he?

His concert tour appears to have been scrapped. And when reporters in Arizona asked DMX’s lawyer, Murray Richman, about the rapper’s whereabouts, his answer was simply, “Why should I tell you.” (By the way, love answer. Just love it.)

Richman also told Spin that “He is not in the U.S.”

Given the man’s luck lately, it honestly wouldn’t surprise me if, in his haste to get the hell out of Dodge, he decided to take a little vacation to Central America. I hear Belize and Honduras are beautiful this time of year. Excepting the occasional Class Five hurricane of course.

(AP Photo/Louis Lanzano, file)

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The answer to this week’s quiz—Which Hollywood bad girl is Donald Trump currently courting to star on the forthcoming celebrity version of “The Apprentice”?—is after the break.

You can’t really blame DMX for wanting to have a getaway outside Westchester, what with two warrants out for his arrest in the county. Still, it doesn’t appear that the authorities in Phoenix are any more lenient—especially when it comes to cruelty to animals, illegal narcotics, and guns.

According to local AZ TV station KPHO, Sheriff’s deputies raided the rapper’s home last Friday after an investigation into alleged animal cruelty. Specifically, pit bulls being kept in inhumane conditions. Although the man caring for the dogs said they hadn’t been used for fighting, he did say that the dogs weren’t given adequate food, water, or shade, and he needed to spend $3,000 of his own money on vet bills. This isn’t the first time DMX has been accused of abusing his dogs; in 2002 he pled guilty to the same charges in New Jersey. And his neighbors in Bedford have told me, his dogs at his home (around the Mount Kisco/Bedford border) don’t receive much better treatment.

While digging for dog corpses in the backyard and searching the house, the police also turned up a stash of narcotics (either cocaine or methamphetamine—still TBD) and a cache of weapons. The artist formerly known as Earl Simmons wasn’t at home during the raid.

While charges have yet to be filed, this will presumably make DMX a wanted man in two states. Oh, and remember that doggy clothing line that the rapper launched last year, only to be sued this year for not being a visible enough celebrity endorsement?

Well, call me crazy, but that’s probably turned out for the best. Unless, that is, the canine couture was being marketed to starving, coked-out, Glock-wielding Staffordshire Terriers. In that case, you could find no better spokesperson.

Video of the raid

Photos of the raid

(AP Photo/ Louis Lanzano)

Mount Kisco rapper DMX took another hit last in the courthouse last Wednesday, when he lost a court case against Amusing Diversions, Inc., the company he partnered with to create a line of dog clothes. Named after X’s own puppy, Boomer 129, the clothing label—which makes caps, scarves, raincoats, and bomber jackets … for dogs—hasn’t been selling so well. Part of the reason, the plaintiffs said, is that the artist formerly known as Earl Simmons didn’t want to promote the clothes on TV, in concert, or at other venues.

Honestly, can you really blame him? With two warrants still out for his arrest, I wouldn’t want to be seen in public either (whether promoting merchandise or doing just about anything else). Anyway, the judge ordered DMX to pay $242,000. Part of the reason for the harsh penalty: DMX repeatedly ignored court proceedings and orders.

It’s not all bad news for the rapper, though. According to AllHipHop, he’s currently shooting the action film Jump Out Boys opposite Kris Kristofferson in Louisiana. The movie follows the adventures of two escaped convicts. Somebody give that casting director a big fat bonus!

MORE: DMX’s ongoing legal troubles

A while ago we reported that Sneden’s Landing resident Al Pacino would be reteaming with Robert DeNiro for the first time since “Heat,” but there’s a new twist in their joint venture. That would be the casting of the film’s male lead #3: 50 Cent.

According to the Hollywood Reporter (via Billboard), 50 is in “final negotiations” to co-star in the film, “Righteous Kill,” portraying a drug dealer who helps DeNiro and Pacino track down a serial killer.

Sorry Mos Def and Ludacris, looks like “The Woodsman” and “Crash” has kinda of burned off whatever reformed-gansta street cred you once had. And should 50 ever appear to be too “Hollywood,” might I propose an understudy? Mount Kisco’s own DMX, with two warrants still out for his arrest, is surely looking for film work.

The movie starts shooting this September and is due in theaters in 2008.

DMX’s upcoming summer tour appears to be off to a rocky start. According to MemphisRap.com (best community rap site EVER!), his upcoming show at Elixur nightclub in Rockford, IL, has been cancelled. Set to take place this Friday, June 22, the concert was called off because the club’s owners were concerned that their 20 security guards wouldn’t be enough to handle a projected 900 people in the audience.

Or maybe, just maybe, they were worried about DMX, a Mount Kisco resident, attempting to top Akon’s fan-tossing record. Then again, they might have just been nervous about hosting an act with two warrants currently out for his arrest. Ah, who am I kidding? If anything, the arrest warrants would only boost audience turnout. Who wouldn’t want to go to a concert where the main act has a good chance of getting hand-cuffed and hauled away off stage?

READ MORE: DMX

In response to my weekly updates on fugitive rapper DMX, who still has two warrants out for his arrest, I got some angry comments on the blog.

• james wrote, “leave dmx alone all you self rightous hipocrets.”

• truebluechicago said, “He can stay at my place anytime for his house arrest, with his fine ass. Leave X alone and quit helping the cops do their job, you’re not getting paid for it.”

• Mpho exclaimed, “u want X arrested u dick head?? … GTFO”

• And Left told me to “stop snitching.”

Now, I’m not one to normally back down on those who mess with the criminal justice system (you’re not going to ever hear me defending Paris Hilton, ok). Still, in this instance I was starting to wonder if I’d made some breach of hip-hop etiquette.

That’s why I was heartened to read that none other than Funkmaster Flex, the legendary Hot 97 DJ (who has an office in Dobbs Ferry), has taken on the proponents of the rap business’s so-called “anti-snitching” movement. “Call me what you want,” he said on Monday, “I’m snitchin’.” He added he would give out police hotline numbers to anyone who wanted them.

Now, granted, he was talking mainly about the tragic murder of Dipset rapper, Stack Bundles, and the reluctance of people to speak out to authorities. But still. As far as I’m concerned, Flex’s endorsement of “snitching” is good enough for me.

The search for DMX continues!

“Funkmaster Flex Speaks On Snitching & 50 Cent” [HipHopDX]

To the Police of White Plains and/or Yonkers:

I know that you’ve had multiple arrest warrants out for rapper, Mount Kisco resident, and repeat traffic violator DMX since April 12. And I know how hard it can be to track down fugitives who routinely jet off to places like Arizona and South Carolina.

But here’s a tip: stop by B.B. King’s in NYC on July 21. DMX will be there as part of a 17-city tour to promote his new greatest hits CD, “The Definition Of X: Pick Of The Litter,” which will be released via Def Jam on June 12.

Here, I’ll even give you a Ticketmaster link. If you’re feeling really ambitious, you could even find him as soon as June 21, when he’ll kick off his tour in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Good luck,

Suburbarazzi

At least, that’s what what Ted Casablanca reports in his gossip column on E! Online:

DMX [was seen] dirty dancing with a gal and his guy friend in front of his mama at a nearly private get-together. South Carolina. The eager babe in the middle of the man sandwich proclaimed, “Im an Oreo cookie You know what gets eaten first…the creamy white center” DMX was apparently entertained by this seminasty notion and was cracking up. Another woman in said spot recognized the rapper and called all her friends. The scene got packed, so DMX and his mom ditched. Prettier n politer in a classy Cali joint was…

The Mount Kisco resident has been a fugitive from justice for over a month now. Bench warrants were issued for his arrest in both White Plains and Yonkers when he failed to show up for court on multiple traffic violation charges. For a while now, I’d been shocked and dismayed that the local PD hasn’t managed to pick up the man, especially given that almost everybody in Mount Kisco and Bedford knows where he lives (the gate with the giant “ES”). But seeing as how he’s been hanging in South Carolina with his mama at clubs—well, I suppose we can cut the authorities a little slack.

As for the creamy white center—well, there’s only one way to redeem yourself, you aiding and abetting dirty birdy … send us some cell phone pictures.

READ MORE: DMX

I just spoke with the Westchester County DA’s office to check the status on the DMX case. After not one, but two arrest warrants were issued for him (by courts in White Plains AND Yonkers) on April 12, the rapper, born Earl Simmons, officially became a fugitive from justice.

Here we are over a month later, and he’s still on the lam! It’s hard to fathom that the White Plains po-po hasn’t been able to find this turkey (yet they can still ticket my car repeatedly within minutes of an expired meter).

According to Christina Frantom at the DA’s office, because DMX’s traffic violations aren’t felonies, it’s not the sort of thing the police would try to extradite him from Arizona for. Which of course begs the question: Is he even in Arizona? Or is he at his home in Mount Kisco? Where the heck is he?

If you have any knowledge of Mr. Simmon’s whereabouts, do the right thing and call the DA at (914) 995-3414. Or just post a comment here. On second thought, definately the latter: comment first, cell phone picture sent to Suburbarazzi second, then a call to the authorities.

(AP Photo/ Louis Lanzano)