Warren Beatty, who gave a five-minute acceptance speech for his lifetime achievement award that ended with a straight-faced praise of brevity.
The producers of the show, who gave some big-named actors more than two minutes to ramble on, but gave every producer/director/writer (i.e. the nobodies) only 30 seconds before the music came up.
America Ferrera, for being forced into the most awkward interview of the night. After a beautiful acceptance speech she was ushered off stage for a one-on-one with Maria Menounos, who apparently didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t see the slightly diminutive actress standing right next to her. After a painfully slow twenty seconds, Ferrera, rightfully confused, jutted off camera, until her handlers returned her so that Menounos could ask this wonderful question: Ã¢â‚¬Å“What do you say to all those people who did not want you to play the part?Ã¢â‚¬? It was a proud moment in journalism!
Sacha Baron Cohen, the comedian of many faces,
who put on a fake English accent who spoke in his natural English accent to accept the award for best actor in a Comedy. He thanked his co-star, Ken Davitian, with whom he had a naked wrestling scene. Ã¢â‚¬Å“When I was in that scene, and I stared down and saw your two wrinkled Golden Globes on my chin, I thought to myself, IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d better win a bloody award for this.Ã¢â‚¬?
Vanessa Williams, or rather her hair. The Chappaqua resident and co-star of Ugly Betty actually managed to get through presenting an award with Tim AllenÃ¢â‚¬â€with her dignityÃ¢â‚¬â€even after he looked her up and down and told her: Ã¢â‚¬Å“If looks were a minute, this would be a long day right here.Ã¢â‚¬? Easy does it, Tool Man.
Jeremy Piven and his mother, who were being interviewed by E! before the show. While the actor was in mid-sentence, the channel cut away because down the red-carpet Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were ready to talk to Ryan Seacrest. Could Brangelina really not have waited 5 seconds?
Donald Trump, who sat front and center all night long, butÃ¢â‚¬â€oddlyÃ¢â‚¬â€was neither nominated for nor presented anything. IsnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t this Rosie-territory?
Every self-congratulating Hollywood actor who actually takes these awards seriouslyÃ¢â‚¬â€despite the fact that theyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re decided on by three Czechoslovakians and a Dane who hand out prizes to the actresses that are nicest to them at press junkets.
And the winner isÃ¢â‚¬â€Hollywood! A town where drooling over oneself is not just a hobby, itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a way of life.
(Fererra and Baron Cohen: AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian; Williams: AP Photo/Chris Pizzello; Trump, Tina Fey, Melania Trump, and Alec Baldwin: AP Photo/Matt Sayles)