‘Razzi Rundown: Where alliteration lives, puns are fun and timeliness is optional

Disclaimer: I’m an avid reader of BestWeekEver.tv, one of my favorite non-LoHud blogs out there these days. So if this quick-hitter format and source material looks familiar, it is, and I’m coming clean with that up-front. Plagiarism kills, kids!

jayz.jpgRINGDOM COME: New Scarsdale resident Jay-Z is finally wearing a wedding ring these days. You might have “the hottest chick in the game wearin’ (your) chain,” Shawn, but Beyoncé seems pretty intent on your wearing jewels of Hova matrimony. (Source: MollyGood via BestWeekEver.tv)

MUNCH SINGS!: My friend and comedienne extraordinaire Abbi Crutchfield caught comedian Richard Belzer’s recent act at Comix, where he was lauded by Robert Klein of Briarcliff Manor from the crowd and backed by Bedford’s Paul Shaffer and the Belzonics on stage. No word on if Ice-T offered similar musical collaboration, which surely would have been accompanied by the echoey “Law & Order” gavel. (Source: The Apiary)

PANETTIERE IS FRENCH FOR ‘PARKING ANYWHERE’: “Heroes” star and Palisades native Hayden Penettiere appears to have been busted for a parking violation. It’s unknown if similar fines are pending for a subpar second season. (Source: I’m Not Obsessed via BestWeekEver.tv)

BA-ED NEWS, GOO-ED NEWS: Ed McMahon, whose family once lived in Bronxville, is being sued for money he allegedly owes his daughter’s divorce attorney. At least his new gig helping out Jimmy Kimmel will help Ed pay off his McMahon-sion. Hiyo! (Source: E!)

VIEIRON MAIDEN: With Irvington resident Meredith Vieira on lead vocals, former Yorktown resident Al Roker on drums and former Chappaqua-Ardsley-Hartsdale resident Matt Lauer on “guitar,” the Today Show’s attempt to play Rock Band is almost as bizarre as the Willard Scott ditty that follows it. (Source: BestWeekEver.tv.)

(AP Photo/Darryl Dyck,THE CANADIAN PRESS)

Jay-Z requests watermelon shaped like Beyonce’s breasts

Jay-Z

According to the U.K.’s Daily Mirror, hip-hop mogul Jay-Z recently performed a gig in Nigeria and requested to have a watermelon carved into the shape of his wife Beyonce Knowles’ breasts. A source described the boobielicious display outside Jay-Z’s hotel room as “one giant watermelon was split in two and ornately carved into a mould of Beyonce’s breasts. Two cherries were used as nipples.”

I could make more puns, but I suppose boobielicious alone will suffice.

Jay-Z recently bought a home in Scarsdale with Beyonce and got a marriage license there. I wonder what it would take for them to allow me to visit them. I better start brushing up on my cantaloupe carving skills.

(AP Photo/Henny Ray Abrams)

Who is the fairest music mogul of them all?

So, how do you calculate “the top 12 most powerful musicians of today”? Well, according to MuchMusic.com, it’s a careful scientific formula based on album sales, clothing lines, fragrances, sold-out tours, charities, endorsement deals, and relevancy—whatever that means.

And based on their calculations, New Rochelle native P. Diddy — labeled “The Unstoppable Entrepreneur” — came in right at No. 4, thanks in large part to his extra currics: “Making the Band,” his Broadway shows, and Bad Boy Records.

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But soon enough, he won’t be Westchester’s lone representative on the list. If the rumor that Beyonce and Jay-Z are moving to Scarsdale comes true, we’ll have Nos. 7 and 2, respectively, in the hood, too.

Course, if we were ranking not just musicians but all-around music moguls, I’d be mobilizing to make the case for part-time Pound Ridger Clive Davis — the record producer behind everyone from Whitney Houston to the American Idol winners. No disrespect to Diddy, B, or Z, but when it comes to music biz heavy hitters, Clive trumps all.

“The Top 12 Most Powerful Musicians of Today” [MuchMusic.com]

(AP Photos — Beyonce: Evan Agostini; Diddy: Chris Pizzello; Jay-Z: Henny Ray Abrams)

Podcast: June 4

On tap this week: Bill Murray’s not-so-funny divorce, Zeyonce’s new Scarsdale mansion, and the “True Colors 2008″ tour.

<a href=”http://www.lohud.com/assets/mov/060308_suburbarazzi_lohud.mp4″ title=”Anarchy Media Player – Right click to download file” class=”noimg”><em>Podcast file</em></a>

<a href=”http://www.lohud.com/assets/mov/060308_suburbarazzi_lohud.flv” title=”Anarchy Media Player – Right click to download file”><em>Flash video</em></a>

The quiz this week — which I’m very happy to say stumped Stacy-Ann (woohoo!) …

A lot of Lower Hudson Valley celebrities have been rumored to be romantically involved with Cameron Diaz in recent months. Can you guess which of these stars has NOT been linked to her in the tabloids?

A. Matt Dillon, of Mamaroneck
B. P. Diddy, of New Rochelle
C. John Mayer, of Bridgeport
D. Jason Bateman, or Rye

The answer, as always, is at the end of the video and after the break.

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Are Jay-Z and Beyoncé moving to Scarsdale?

When Jay-Z named his recent album “Kingdom Come,” did he have Scarsdale in mind?

jb.jpgHe and Beyoncé Knowles are rumored to be making the move to Scarsdale, where the power couple secured a marriage license last month. Late last week, TMZ reported that the newlyweds own a 15,000 square-foot modern colonial on property that spans 2 acres.

The house, replacing another that had been razed on that site, reportedly has been under construction for six months, according to the gossip site.

Thanks to Journal News reporter Aman Ali for the heads-up on this item.

(AP Photo/Kim Johnson Flodin)

Podcast: April 9

On the podcast this week: the Beyoncé-Jay-Z wedding, Mariah Carey’s chart-topper, and Denzel’s next movie.

<a href=”http://www.lohud.com/assets/mov/040808_suburbarazzi_lohud.mp4″ title=”Anarchy Media Player – Right click to download file” class=”noimg”><em>Podcast file:</em></a>

<a href=”http://www.lohud.com/assets/mov/040808_suburbarazzi_lohud.flv” title=”Anarchy Media Player – Right click to download file”><em>Flash video:</em></a>

At the end of the video and after the break is the answer to this week’s quiz: Behind champ Ruben Studdard and runner-up Clay Aiken, new North Salem resident Kimberley Locke finished third on season two of “American Idol.” Who finished fourth that season?

A) Joshua Gracin
B) Carmen Rasmusen
C) Trenyce

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Mary J. Blige confirms Zeyonce wedding (sort of)

Evidence that Jay-Z and Beyonce tied the knot on Friday continues to trickle in. During a concert that Yonkers native Mary J. Blige headlined with Jay-Z over the weekend in North Carolina, she reportedly shouted on stage, “Congratulations to my man Jay-Z and my girl B!”

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That said, the happy couple still haven’t made any official announcements. And Jay-Z wasn’t wearing a wedding ring onstage. And, according to OK Magazine, he was hanging out with his boys 40/40 Club in Manhattan to watch the NCAA championship game Monday night. So much for the honeymoon.

As for Blige’s comment … um, maybe that was just the roids talking.

(Photo of Blige and Jay-Z perform performing on March 22 in Miami during their Heart of the City tour: AP Photo/Luis M. Alvarez)

So much for Scarsdale; Beyonce & Jay-Z get hitched in TriBeCa

Hard evidence is hard to come by, but the rumor mill is churning at full tilt with the news that Beyonce and Jay-Z got married last night, Friday, April 4, at Z’s downtown NYC apartment. People Mag reports, “Though there is no official confirmation, [a] friend says, ‘It happened earlier this evening. Jay wanted it to be a really private affair – close friends and family.'”

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People, of course, was the same source for the news that the couple got their marriage license in Scarsdale, of all places, on Tuesday, setting off a week’s worth of rabid speculation. And, I’ll admit it, even getting me to submit a FOIL request to the Scarsdale Village Clerk to see a copy of the marriage license for one Shawn Corey Carter (aka Jay-Z).

Since they have five days to respond, I never did get confirmation (or a copy of the document) during the work week. ap_david_stern_070724_mn.jpgBut, like so many celebrity-enamored suburbanites, I was hoping that maybe the Scarsdale story would be (a) not an April fool’s prank and (b) evidence that the wedding was taking place here in Westchester. My favorite theory, courtesy of Gothamist, was that the wedding was taking place at NBA commissioner David Stern’s Scarsdale home.

Or not.

Turns out the festivities took place in that slightly larger city to the south. A media storm descended on Jay-Z’s TriBeCa apartment yesterday, around the same time that candelabras and flowers started arriving. In addition to every media outlet in the known universe, the invited guests apparently included: Beyonce’s mother Tina Knowles, her father and manager Mathew, her sister Solange, Destiny’s Child members Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams, and friend Gwyneth Paltrow (pictured here arriving at Jay-Z’s apartment building).

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Another source told People that the post-wedding party was Thai themed, and that Amy’s Orchids was hired to provide 50,000 to 60,000 white orchid blooms.

And hey, if that’s not enough evidence to convince you that Zeyonce tied the knot, check out Beyonce’s Wikipedia page, in which her name has already been updated. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter.

UPDATE: The “Carter” has since been dropped from the Wikipedia page.

(AP Photos)

Hova matrimony? Jay-Z and Beyoncé reportedly nab marriage license in Scarsdale

jayzbeyonce.jpgAre “Crazy In Love” power couple Jay-Z (born Shawn Carter) and Beyoncé Knowles heading toward the bonds of H-to-the-izzo, L-to-the-izzy matrimony?

The news broke on April Fool’s Day, so take it with a grain of salt (for now), but People magazine nonetheless reported that the duo secured a marriage license in Scarsdale yesterday morning. The document’s valid for 60 days, which is roughly equivalent to the number of days Jay-Z was “retired” from the music industry.

The mag couldn’t land a comment from the couple’s spokespeople, which probably means the scoop is either dead-on or way off.

Notes People:

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Beyoncé, 26, and Jay-Z, 38, have been dating since 2002, though the couple have stood reluctant to discuss their relationship publicly.

</div></blockquote>

So why start now?

(AP Photo/Alan Diaz)