Archive for the ‘Beyonce Knowles’
Beyonce’s hairy armpits create buzz • 12.03.08
The new Scarsdale resident waved to fans during the New York premiere of her new movie, Cadillac Records, on Tuesday and flashed some pit hair. One eyewitness said “Beyonce always looks her best at these kind of events. She obviously either ran out of razors or just missed a bit in the bathroom.”
Hairy armpits or not, she still looked stunning in her ambiguously see through black dress. I’m just sayin.
In case you’re looking for something on TV tonight, Beyonce and her sister Solange Knowles will be performing at the Rockefeller Christmas tree lighting ceremony at 8 p.m. on NBC. Other acts include Miley Cyrus, Faith Hill, Rascal Flatts, David Cook and the legend Tony Bennett.
Beyonce demands Xbox for performance • 11.11.08
Right when I thought Beyonce couldn’t possibly be any hotter, I find out she plays Xbox 360.
The new Scarsdale resident apparently refused to fly to Monaco to the World Music Awards unless the organizers met her demands. According to a source, the demands were, a private jet with “14 seats, including two for herself. And staff were told to give her whatever she wanted – including an Xbox, PSP, Jacuzzi and a pizza.”
A jet with a jacuzzi in it? Spoken like a true diva.
(AP Photo/Alex Brandon)
According to the U.K.’s Daily Mirror, hip-hop mogul Jay-Z recently performed a gig in Nigeria and requested to have a watermelon carved into the shape of his wife Beyonce Knowles’ breasts. A source described the boobielicious display outside Jay-Z’s hotel room as “one giant watermelon was split in two and ornately carved into a mould of Beyonce’s breasts. Two cherries were used as nipples.”
I could make more puns, but I suppose boobielicious alone will suffice.
Jay-Z recently bought a home in Scarsdale with Beyonce and got a marriage license there. I wonder what it would take for them to allow me to visit them. I better start brushing up on my cantaloupe carving skills.
(AP Photo/Henny Ray Abrams)
Podcast: April 9 • 04.09.08
On the podcast this week: the BeyoncÃ©-Jay-Z wedding, Mariah Carey’s chart-topper, and Denzel’s next movie.
<a href=”http://www.lohud.com/assets/mov/040808_suburbarazzi_lohud.mp4″ title=”Anarchy Media Player – Right click to download file” class=”noimg”><em>Podcast file:</em></a>
<a href=”http://www.lohud.com/assets/mov/040808_suburbarazzi_lohud.flv” title=”Anarchy Media Player – Right click to download file”><em>Flash video:</em></a>
At the end of the video and after the break is the answer to this week’s quiz: Behind champ Ruben Studdard and runner-up Clay Aiken, new North Salem resident Kimberley Locke finished third on season two of “American Idol.” Who finished fourth that season?
A) Joshua Gracin
B) Carmen Rasmusen
Beyonce Knowles had an embarrasing fall last night at an Orlando concert. The former Destiny’s Child lead singer stepped on her trench coat while dancing and went tumbling head-first down the steps in front of the stage. She got up and continued dancing.
Later in the show, the singer told the audience, “Can I ask you a favor? If you taped that, please don’t put it on Youtube.”
Did the audience listen?
(AP Photo/Alex Brandon)Ã‚Â
Occasionally we like to recommend people to our friend, HastingÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s-bred Keith Olbermann, to include on his showÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s Ã¢â‚¬Å“Worst Person in the WorldÃ¢â‚¬? segment. To wit, we offer the diva-tastic ramblings of Beyonce Knowles. Okay, granted, in the scheme of things Knowles is probably not the Ã¢â‚¬ËœWORSTÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ person in the world (at least not while there are still lawyers running around), but letÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s just say she doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t deserve any Ã¢â‚¬Ëœfriend-of-the-yearÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ awards anytime soon. She recently spoke to People Magazine and gave a quote that was so dazzlingly passive aggressive, so festered with bitter, diva resentment, that we all must pause for a moment and worship the Gods of Celebrity megalomania.
It’s been rumored that Knowles (and her father) have been angry about the final cut of Dreamgirls, the Christmas flick that is apparently the greatest musical to hit the screen since Ginger Rogers glided across the ballroom. The problem is Knowles, who’s nominally the “star,” is said to have been completely upstaged by American Idol castoff Jennifer Hudson (who makes her film debut as Effie White and reportedly blows the proverbial house down with her Oprah-lauded performance). But this was supposed to be Beyonce’s big acting triumph and Beyonce is angry that she’s not reaping all the praise and Oscar-buzz that Beyonce deserves. What’s an upstaged diva to do? Talk to People Magazine of course and set the record straight. She’s happy for her adorable co-star and has absolutely no resentment at all toward her. None. Couldn’t be further from the truth. She LOVES Jennifer Hudson. She would giver her a kidney. If she was a lesbian, she’d marry her. Why on Earth would anyone think that Ms. Beyonce Knowles has anything against Jennifer Hudson? What could possibly give people that impression?
“I mean,” said Knowles, “I wish I could’ve gained 20 pounds and played Effie.”
Right, if only Knowles was fat like Jennifer Hudson, who’s fat. But unfortunately Beyonce Knowles is not FAT. Life’s so unfair. But she’s happy for Jennifer HudsonÃ¢â‚¬â€who’s fat. Talented and fat.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to vomit a little in my mouth.