Well, here we are almost two years later and our material has hardly dried up. Hopefully we’ve shown that star sightings in the lower Hudson Vally are are about as common as traffic jams on the Tappan Zee. And Suburbarazzi is just getting warmed up.

Unfortunately, I won’t be one of the few proud souls to carry on the celebrity stalking. I’ve accepted an offer with Gannett’s six New Jersey papers to help grow their websites and develop further digital content (including, yes, blogs). And while I’m incredibly excited about all that’s in store for me in the shiny suburbs to the south, I’m also very sad that I won’t be able to continue shepherding along Suburbarazzi. Along with the three Journal News magazines (InTown Westchester, Rockland Magazine, and Putnam Magazine), this blog has been one of my great passions while living in the Lower Hudson Valley.

Instead of belaboring that point with a bunch of sappy anecdotes, though, I’d like to use this space to provide the two remaining Suburbarazzos—Chris Serico, who has been with us almost since the beginning, and Aman Ali, who joined about a month ago—with some tips to guide them as they navigate the star-infested waters north of NYC.

Herewith, my 10 Commandments:

10. Thou Shalt Not Watch Rosie O’Donnell’s Vlogs. Trust me, they’re more bizzarly addictive than Carrot Top at the Luxor. Watch one on rosie.com and you’re bound to be hooked.

9.  Thou Shalt Not Come Off as Borderline Pervy While Posting About Hayden Panettiere. File this one under: Don’t make the same mistakes I did.

8.  Thou Shalt Not Make Rodent Jokes About Richard Gere’s Bedford Restaurant. After all, he named it Bedford Post, not Squirrely Acres. That said, post jokes are totally fair game.

7. Thou Shalt Not Challenge Kevin Dillon to a Game of Golf. Face it: You’ll lose. Instead, I suggest going head-to-head against Phil Reisman (of the “Mano a Mano with Spano” fame) in a round of minigolf.

6.  Thou Shalt Not Be Blinded by Karen DePodwin’s Smile While Filming the Weekly RNN Segment. Avert your eyes! Stay on topic! Keep it to 1:30!

5. Thou Shalt Make Friends with the Folks at the Pelham Picture House. Just whatever you do, next time Clooney is in town, don’t try blogging from your iPhone. It’ll annoy those around you. Besides, it’s just sad.

4. Thou Shalt Organize a Ultimate Fighting Challenge Cage Match Between Fred Norris and Nick Di Paolo. Why, I’m not entirely sure. But it came to me in a dream.

3.  Thou Shalt Call the Westchester DA the Moment DMX Turns Up in the County Again. With two arrest warrants in Yonkers and White Plains still outstanding, you’d have good reason to rat him out. Plus, the opportunitiy to see this man rapping on our local courthouse steps is simply too good to pass up.

2. Thou Shalt Continue Doodling in Microsoft Paint. Consider my offer of $5 worth of ground beef for any stick-figure illustrations of celebrity babies a standing one. Up it to $10 if we’re talking about twins again.

1. Thou Shalt Not Take the Baldwin Name in Vain. Leave that up to Stephen. He’s got you covered.

Good luck, Suburbarazzos.

And New Jersey celebrities, watch your back!

Click here to buy tickets.

As for the “W.” trailer, it’s a doozey! Love the part where James Cromwell, as H.W., tells James Brolin’s boozed up W.:

Who do you think you are, a Kennedy?

You’re a Bush.

Act like one.

Bill, who lives in Sneden’s Landing, was master of ceremonies for the show and wore his ‘70s rock-star best for the occasion (boy, is that guitar is a thing of Reading Rainbow beauty).

If this doesn’t manage to impress the ladies, surly parachuting into the 50th annual Chicago Air & Water Show next month will do the trick.

(AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)

Newsday has a juicy little tidbit about the upcoming season: golfer Phil Mickelson will be guest starring. This they plucked out of an HBO press release.

Normally I wouldn’t find an “Entourage” cameo all that noteworthy, but consider: Kevin Dillon, aka Johnny Drama, is longtime golf nut, with a 7.3 handicap, according to Golf Digest (second only to Bill Murray’s 7.2 as the best in the LoHud region). Dillon’s dad, Paul, is also coach of the Fordham golf team. And the family belongs to Winged Food in Mamaroneck, where Mickelson had his infamous U.S. Open meltdown.

So, will these two do battle on the links? Considering that Drama is also prone to blowing his top, which one is more likely to come apart on the green?

Expect to find out on Sept. 7, when the season 5 debuts.

(Dillon: HBO; Mickelson: AP Photo/Denis Poroy)

Comicon, as you may have heard, is THE place to promote any and every sci-fi or action project in the works. Either that or it’s a very clever plot by Gillian Anderson to round up all world’s uber-geeks and dissapear them in plume of purple smoke.

Until that happens, though, movies like the “Star Trek” reboot, the upcoming “Watchmen” comic-book-turned-blockbuster, TV shows like “Heroes” and “Lost,” and even the “Dr. Horrible” webisodes will continue getting the red carpet treatment. Add to that list one Stephen Baldwin, who has co-created a new comic book series, dubbed “The Remnant.”

For your consideration:  A supernatural thriller cartoon in the vein of “24,” with religious undertones.

 

Baldwin, who has a home in Upper Grandview, summed it up this way to CBR (Comic Book Resources, to those of you not in the know):

“I wanted to do a comic that asked the big questions but answered them in little ways. Philosophy and spirituality are complex beasts, but I believe literature’s purpose is to contextualize these tricky subjects into entertaining stories that speak, not preach, to the reader.”

Now, if only we could convince them to do an reboot of that Illustrated Children’s Bible, with Jack Bauer periodically showing up to interrogate the apostles. That I’d pay to see.

(AP Photo/Eric Jamison)

The couple, you may recall, also have a vacation home in Pound Ridge, and are some of the most outspoken environmental activists. While I’m normally on their side (exception: when Robbins is railing against “our pornographic obsession with celebrity culture”), they’ve crossed some kind of line here. Opposing hospitals in any way, shape, or form just feels wrong.

And no, my doctor wife didn’t pay me to say that.

“Sarandon Fights Hospital Expansion” [ecorazzi]

(AP Photo/Nick Ut)

[puzzled look]

SHOOT the GLASS!

Ahh, I love that movie. I know Alan Rickman has starred in everything from “Harry Potter” to “Galaxy Quest” to “Robin Hood” since, but none of his roles ever made quite such an indellible impression as Hans Gruber in “Die Hard.” (My wife, for the record, strongly objects, and thinks his performance in “Love Actually” is one for the ages.)

Anyway, getting back to the point of this post: Rickman has agreed to come preview his new film, “Bottle Shock,” at the Pelham Picture House on August 5th. Afterward, he’ll do the usual Peter Travers Q&A, along with the the film’s director, Randall Miller, and its producer, J. Todd Harris.

The film centers around the early days of California wine making,  back before Napa was a brand-name for vino. Rickman plays Steve Spurrier, the Brit who more or less helped put the wineries of California on the map when he organized the now infamous, blind Paris wine tasting of 1976, aka “The Judgment of Paris,” in which the U.S. wines outshone those from France.

Tickets went on sale on Saturday through the Picture House’s website, and are still available. Rickman might not have the megawatt star power as some recent Picture House visitors by the names of Clooney and Cruise, but at $35, the tickets are a relative bargain. And—going out on a limb here—the movie looks a little more entertaining than “Leatherheads.”

Course, it would be all the more so if somehow the screenplay managed to work the following line into the Spurrier character’s dialogue: “Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.”

EDIT: Ok, I just checked Rickman’s IMDB page and made a heinous omission: “Something the Lord Made,” the HBO film about the doctors who pioneered the first form of heart surgery on blue babies. If you haven’t seen it yet, Netflix that one. Co-stars Mos Def in an equally excellent performance. Still not quite on the level of “Die Hard,” but absolutely deserving of the Emmy it won in 2004.

(Photos: IPW) 

As you may have already heard, a game of late-night television musical chairs is in the offing for next year, with Jay Leno leaving (possibly to ABC) in order to make room for Conan O’Brien to take over “Tonight,” which opens up Conan’s show for Fallon to take the reins. Still, even though that’s all going to happen in 2009, Michaels, who exec produces “Late Night,” couldn’t quite wait to get Fallon back on the air.

The plan? Create 5- to 10-minute webisodes of Fallon doing various Late Nighty things and post them at 12:30 a.m. daily, in order to give Fallon the rhythm of a nightly show and “more opportunity for experimentation,” said Michaels.

Or, to put a finer point on it, he wants to ensure that Fallon hits his stride around the same time his actual show hits the air, so as to avoid the awkward breaking-in phase—that same period that Conan stumbled in after his show debuted. No word yet about what website the clips will debut on, or when they’ll start going live.

It’s an interesting strategy, and one that I’d have a lot more faith in if we were talking about Andy Samberg or some other proven web juggernaut. As for Fallon, the only clip of his I’ve seen online his “lonelyfallon32,” which, while amusing, ain’t no “Lazy Sunday.”

(AP Photo/Evan Agostini)

Milo was looking at rings in late June. He really likes Cartier and intends to spend around $200,000.

Lest he’s enlisting the time-stopping skills of Hiro to go steal his $200k rock, I’d try and scale back a bit. Oh, and maybe also hold off on the proposal until Hayden is at least 20 years old.

(Photo: NBC Universal)

The first episode of “Focus Earth” aired last Saturday, and while I missed it, I hear it was pretty decent, for tree huggers and tree ho-hummers alike. Woodruff went to the Northeastern corner of Montana to see how the American prarie is under siege by developers and agriculture. In particular, he profiled the American Prairie Foundation, which is buying up land to create a 3-million-acre reserve for bison and other native wildlife. [recap here]

No word yet on what episode 2 has in store, but be sure to set your TiVos for this Saturday, 6 p.m., to find out.

Podcast file

Flash video

Also, this week was our final Suburbarazzi segement with RNN’s Stacy-Ann Gooden. I wanted to give her a big hug and throw together a Best of Stacy-Ann reel, but since her departure wasn’t quite official when we taped the piece, we couldn’t put any of that in there. But as my Chris so eloquently put it in his post yesterday, working with Stacy-Ann has been one of the great joys of our jobs for the last year. Every Tuesday afternoon was a little brighter because of her.

Plus, I’m happy to report, after a string of recent, uncharacteristic wrong answers, Stacy-Ann got her final Suburbarazzi quiz correct!

Can you get this multiple-choice question right, too?

Which Lower Hudson Valley celebrity told Fox News that they’d move to Canada if Barack Obama was elected president?

A. Rip Torn
B. Bonnie Fuller
C. Donald Trump
D. Stephen Baldwin

Answer after the break and at the end of the video clip.

Answer: D. Stephen Baldwin

The latest update, via Variety, is that 20th Century Fox has signed a deal with the actor-cum-mogul to develop TV series (as in series, plural). Bateman, you may recall, was already tapped to direct the pilot for “Do Not Disturb,” a new fall series. He’s also been on a role lately with roles in “Hancock,” the upcoming Ricky Gervais comedy “This Side of the Truth,” and the Russell Crowe flick “State of Play.”

So, what will be the first new project Bateman brings to the table under his new deal? Call me crazy, but I seem to recall a certain affection he has for one of his past TV series, and a lingering desire to turn that series into a feature movie. And no, I’m not talking about “The Hogan Family.”

Meanwhile, sis Justine, when she isn’t out shilling for SAG, is also branching out beyond acting. She’s been writing scripts for Disney’s “Wizards of Waverly Place.” I’m not exactly sold on the Daily News’s classification of the show as “red hot,” but I will say this: It’s high time we finaly got a sanitized, family-friendly version of “Charmed.” That Alyssa Milano was showing waaay too much cleavage.

(Jason: AP Photo/Reed Saxon; Justine: ABC Photo / Danny Feld)

Simple, she doesn’t.

Gee, thanks, People Magazine.

Now, I think it’s great that Bracco says Realtors are boss in the Q&A, but her optimism about housing as an investment struck me as a little odd. After all, the home she’s trying to sell in Rockland has been on the market for four years. She’s dropped the price from $4.4 million to $2.9 mil. (Incidentally, it’s still listed on the Mason Sammett site, if you’re interested.)

Yet she still says, “I’ve never had a bad experience with real estate or a real estate professional.” A few other incongruous excerpts from the interview after the break.

The housing slowdown has shaken a lot of people’s confidence. Has it altered your strategy?

Bracco: I always feel the stock market will go up, go down. Some people are very, very good at understanding that medium. The housing market will do the same thing, but for me it’s worked out. I was lucky when I bought a loft in Tribeca in lower Manhattan and sold it in 1999. Normal girls shop for shoes. A friend and I bought in Florida. I needed a place to relax and vacation. It’s a dream come true. A great location on the beach and a short [plane] ride from New York.

What else do you like about real estate?

Bracco: I’ve never had a bad experience with real estate or a real estate professional. I was always able to get properties I wanted, and they helped facilitate that.
Any plans to buy other properties since salespeople remind us that now is a great time to invest?

Bracco: You know, today, no. Tomorrow may bring a new opportunity. Who knows?

You’re on the board of directors of Riverkeeper, an environmental organization that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. heads. Are your homes green?

Bracco: I would say my homes are 50 percent green, and I’m still working on it. It’s not the easiest thing to do. I went from oil to gas, changed light bulbs, and bought energy-saving appliances. When my car dies, I’ll get a hybrid. I’m involved with Riverkeeper because Bobby Kennedy said, “You have a house on the Hudson River. You have to be on the board.”

How’d you get into importing Italian wines under the Bracco Wines label?

Bracco: I spent 10 years in France and learned how to eat, drink, and speak French. As a celebrity, you’re often offered all kinds of deals. Nothing appealed until somebody came to me with this idea. My father is Italian-American. It felt right. I go to Italy and different vintners. Last year, we sold between 10,000 and 13,000 cases. I haven’t yet bought vineyards but I hope to.

The newsflash is that Hill, a 23-year-old forward for the Philadelphia 76ers, was pulled over for drunk driving in Mount Kisco. He was stopped at about 4:30 am when police saw him make an unsafe lane change. Now, while I would never, ever condone drunk driving, like some of our Suburbarazzi regulars (cough, Nick DiPaolo, DMX), I will say this in Hill’s defense: At 4:30 on that stretch of the Saw Mill, there’s probably no such thing as a safe lane change. Same goes for the Bronx River and Hutch and just about every other windy-ass parkway in Westchester County. Thanks a million, Robert Moses.

Anyway, Hill was released to his friends at 7 am and is due back in court on July 24.

LoHud Article

I would have thought that those two, Quinn might have turned all his attention back to movies (or at least HBO movies, like “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee,” which earned him an Emmy nod). But not so fast.

We just learned that he’s been cast in the new ABC series “Prince of Motor City.” It’s sort of a Bill Ford as Hamlet kind of role. The other lead role in the series will be played by Rutger Hauer. Thow in the rest of the decent-sounding cast—Andie MacDowell, Piper Perabo, John Carroll Lynch, and Sharon Lawrence for starters—and after two-strikeouts, Quinn may finally have a possible hit on his hands.

The Hollywood Reporter is already calling it the “Dirty Sexy Money” of the pilot season. By which we can only assume they mean, a really strong ensemble show that gets off to an outstanding first season … and then has an interminable Sopranos-like hiatus before its next season.

(AP Photo/ Louis Lanzano)

Ok, so maybe Jacques’ WCBS terrestrial radio gig and LoHud video podcast aren’t exactly direct competition for satellite radio, but still, there’s only room for so many Great White Way pundits out there.

The Rivers show, “Can We Talk … About Broadway,” was supposed to have begun the week of June 30th. It’s an hour-long show airing daily at noon on SIRIUS’s Broadway’s Best channel. If anyone out there has actually listened to it, please tell us what you think. Or rather, tell us how pathetic it is in comparison to the snarky brilliance and snappy dressing of her her French sounding compeititors.

(Celebrity Family Feud photo: NBC)

Variety has a nice breakdown of all the possible scenarios (11 to be exact) for what will happen if the AFTRA deal goes through, or if it somehow gets scuttled. But what I’ve been wondering lately is, where do our local celebs stand on the possibility of another Hollywood strike?

We’ve already seen that Rye native Justine Bateman was one of the first to stick her neck out for SAG. She’s since been joined by A-listers like Jack Nicholson, Ed Harris and Viggo Mortensen.

Still, the AFTRA forces are mobilizing, and it looks like Susan Sarandon is ready to get vocal. Really, was there any doubt that the vocal Pound Ridger wouldn’t speak up sooner or later. According to the Chicago Tribune, she’s one of 600 actors (including Tom Hanks, Kevin Spacey and Alec Baldwin) who signed a letter in support of the AFTRA deal.

Meanwhile, George Clooney doesn’t have a dog in this fight. He just wants the two sides to stop “pitting artist against artist.” Still, if the can’t-we-all-just-get-along angle doesn’t work, I’m sure he’d settle for a little artist-on-artist action.

(AP Photo/Keystone, Martial Trezzini)

But that’s not all. He’s also vowed, in an interview with Fox News, to move to Canada if Barack Obama is elected.

Consider that reason No. 2,304 to vote for the Illinois Senator.

Of course, it’s worth noting that another Baldwin bro, Alec, made the same kind of bizarre threat back in 2000, vowing to head north if George W. Bush won the election. And unless “30 Rock” is filmed in Vancouver, I’m pretty sure he didn’t stick to his guns.

Also, Stephen crossed his fingers while making the pledge and joked “let the media have fun with that,” so he likely wasn’t serious. Still, the prospect of an ex-pat Stephen Baldwin in Canada does actually make a little more sense. I hear acting gigs are far easier to come by in Vancouver these days.

“Celebrities who threatened to move out of the U.S. when Bush got elected” [LA Times]

His just-published review compares Christian Bale’s bman to Al Pacino in “Godfather 2,” and Heath Ledger’s role as the Joker to “the anarchy of the Sex Pistols and A Clockwork Orange.” As if I wasn’t excited enough to see this movie!

If you haven’t seen the trailer yet, here, take a gander.

The movie comes out July 18. And now that Rolling stone’s glowing review is out, the only question mark that still remains is whether Bale will follow in Cruise, Clooney, and Penn’s footsteps and make the celebrity pilgrimage to the Pelham Picture House to promote it. Come on, Christian, time to repay a little of that Travers kharmic goodwill.

“The Dark Knight : Review” [Rolling Stone]