EXCLUSIVE: Sketches of Angelina Jolie’s newborn twins!

The Associated Press reported that the first photos of Angelina Jolie’s newborn twins could be worth between $10-20 million!

The photographs may not have been leaked yet, but I got my hands on the first sketches of what the newborns Knox and Vivienne look like.

brangelina-kids.jpg

Now you might be saying “Aman, this photo looks like something you drew on Microsoft Paint as you were waiting for the Domino’s Pizza guy to bring you a scrumptious deep dish pizza to your apartment.” That’s one way to look at it, but I don’t see any other sketches of Angelina’s babies out there, do you?

People magazine, I shall start the bidding on my photos at $1 million. Now that’s a deal.

Never fear, your new Suburbarazzo is here

If you haven’t heard, Ted Mann (aka T-Money) will be leaving the Journal News later this summer. I, Aman Ali, shall take his place patrolling the streets of Suburbia and monitoring which of our local celebrities have been pulled over for driving their Lexuses under the influence of too much Haha Juice.

To tell you about myself, I am a 23-year-old trapped in a 23-year-old’s body born three days after myself. And I’m pretty awesome at making grilled cheese sandwiches. Oh, and beating 8-year-olds in video games. If you’ve never beaten an 8-year-old in Guitar Hero 3, you really should. It does marvels for your self esteem. And it’s therapeutic for your soul. Take that, Deepak Chopra.

What are my credentials you ask? Ah yes. I’ve been a reporter at the Journal News since 2007. And I regularly go to comedy clubs across the country, telling audience members humorous stories while I’m on stage in a standing up position. I’m not sure what that profession is called. Well, talking to an audience could be considered dictation, so I think that makes me a dictator?