Fox TV owns Jason Bateman … or is it, Jason Bateman owns Fox?

Given the skyrocketing trajectory of Rye native Jason Bateman’s career of late, it can’t be too long til he starts charging millions for photos of his babies, too.

The latest update, via Variety, is that 20th Century Fox has signed a deal with the actor-cum-mogul to develop TV series (as in series, plural). Bateman, you may recall, was already tapped to direct the pilot for “Do Not Disturb,” a new fall series. He’s also been on a role lately with roles in “Hancock,” the upcoming Ricky Gervais comedy “This Side of the Truth,” and the Russell Crowe flick “State of Play.”

So, what will be the first new project Bateman brings to the table under his new deal? Call me crazy, but I seem to recall a certain affection he has for one of his past TV series, and a lingering desire to turn that series into a feature movie. And no, I’m not talking about “The Hogan Family.”

Meanwhile, sis Justine, when she isn’t out shilling for SAG, is also branching out beyond acting. She’s been writing scripts for Disney’s “Wizards of Waverly Place.” I’m not exactly sold on the Daily News’s classification of the show as “red hot,” but I will say this: It’s high time we finaly got a sanitized, family-friendly version of “Charmed.” That Alyssa Milano was showing waaay too much cleavage.

(Jason: AP Photo/Reed Saxon; Justine: ABC Photo / Danny Feld)

Thank you, Stacy-Ann Gooden!

Today is the last day that feature reporter and weathercaster Stacy-Ann Gooden will be working for RNN’s “NewsCenter Now,” and we here at Suburbarazzi owe her a huge debt of gratitude.

stacy-ann.jpgTrue fans of this blog and its podcast know Stacy-Ann as the regular moderator of our RNN Suburbarazzi segments. She’s always upbeat, lively and on the pulse of celebrity news, even if she doesn’t always know the answers to our impossibly hard quiz questions every week. A consummate pro, she made all of the Suburbarazzi writers feel comfortable and at home in the Rye Brook studios, whether the cameras were on or off.

I’m particularly thankful for her encouragement for me to conduct a segment on my own for the first time when I landed my exclusive interview with “American Idol” finalist Kimberley Locke. Just another example of how selfless and thoughtful she’s been to all of us here.

Some fun and impressive facts about Stacy-Ann: In addition to her diverse reporting experience at RNN and Fox 5, she is a model who’s appeared in Oprah, Lucky and King magazines. She also competed in her native country, Jamaica, as a finalist in the Miss Jamaica Universe Pageant, and graduated magna cum laude from St. John’s University. Now you know! And knowing is half the battle.

Stacy-Ann told me this afternoon she’s going to take some time off. Whatever she’s doing next, we at Suburbarazzi wish her the best and will remain in touch.

(Photo courtesy of RNN.)

Jay-Z requests watermelon shaped like Beyonce’s breasts

Jay-Z

According to the U.K.’s Daily Mirror, hip-hop mogul Jay-Z recently performed a gig in Nigeria and requested to have a watermelon carved into the shape of his wife Beyonce Knowles’ breasts. A source described the boobielicious display outside Jay-Z’s hotel room as “one giant watermelon was split in two and ornately carved into a mould of Beyonce’s breasts. Two cherries were used as nipples.”

I could make more puns, but I suppose boobielicious alone will suffice.

Jay-Z recently bought a home in Scarsdale with Beyonce and got a marriage license there. I wonder what it would take for them to allow me to visit them. I better start brushing up on my cantaloupe carving skills.

(AP Photo/Henny Ray Abrams)

Josh Hamilton, former Hudson Valley Renegade, hits 1 of his 38 Home Run Derby dingers into ‘Pelham’

It’s the new math.

hamilton.jpgComeback kid Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers crushed 28 homers in the first round of last night’s Home Run Derby at Yankee Stadium — 20 more than any other player in that frame — but lost the doggone thing because the Minnesota Twins’ Justin Morneau hit more in the third and final round.

Never mind that Hamilton, who relaunched his career with the Hudson Valley Renegades, outslugged Morneau overall, 38-22. Or that Hamilton’s total could have been even bigger had he not essentially skipped the second round so that he could save it for the third. Totals from the first two rounds don’t carry over. Pffft. What a joke.

No matter. Did you see some of these shots? The Journal News’ Brian Heyman does a great job describing three of his most magnificent:

502 feet off the Bank of America sign behind the right-center bleachers and below the frieze; 504 feet to the back of the bleachers near the video board; and 518 feet to the black seats in center….

And while the Bank of America sign shot was the third-longest of the bunch, it was doubly exciting. The thundering thud with which the ball hit the sign was like none I’d ever heard as a devout, lifetime Yankee fan; and it was in the extremely short list of home runs ever coming close to being hit out of the stadium, even in an exhibition format.

A couple of LoHud-related notes about the broadcasting of Hamilton’s blasts:

Using the Yankee Stadium public address system to call the live action for the stadium crowd was Hartsdale resident Michael Kay, the main play-by-play broadcaster for the Yankees’ TV broadcasts.

And calling the Home Run Derby action for ESPN was Chris Berman, an alumnus of The Hackley School in Tarrytown. At the 3:53 mark of this must-watch MLB.com highlight reel, here’s how Berman described one of Hamilton’s moonshots: “This one is in Pelham!”

(Photo by Frank Becerra Jr./The Journal News)

EXCLUSIVE: Sketches of Angelina Jolie’s newborn twins!

The Associated Press reported that the first photos of Angelina Jolie’s newborn twins could be worth between $10-20 million!

The photographs may not have been leaked yet, but I got my hands on the first sketches of what the newborns Knox and Vivienne look like.

brangelina-kids.jpg

Now you might be saying “Aman, this photo looks like something you drew on Microsoft Paint as you were waiting for the Domino’s Pizza guy to bring you a scrumptious deep dish pizza to your apartment.” That’s one way to look at it, but I don’t see any other sketches of Angelina’s babies out there, do you?

People magazine, I shall start the bidding on my photos at $1 million. Now that’s a deal.

Brangelina twins born, anticlimax ensues

Big secret: I’m not big on celebrity baby news.

brangelina.jpgI know, I know. What kind of Suburbarazzo am I? Oh, that’s right. A single dude without kids. So, there’s that.

But before you complain about my indifference, consider all the hype leading up to the birth of twins in France by former Sneden’s Landing resident Angelina Jolie and boyfriend Brad Pitt. Yes, the parents are beautiful people, if you consider special editions of People magazine, charitable causes and overall hotness. But one might’ve thought that with yesterday’s arrivals of Knox Leon Jolie-Pitt, a boy, and Vivienne Marcheline Jolie-Pitt, a girl, would come with an end to worldwide war, pestilence and famine. (No one ever mentions pestilence anymore. And that’s a shame.)

twins.jpgSo when the mayor of Nice emerged next to Jolie’s obstetrician to hoist Knox’s birth certificate into the air as if it were the panacea for AIDS, cancer, malaria and the common cold combined, forgive me if I forgot to cover my mouth when I yawned.

At least this time, compared to Entertainment Tonight’s supposed “exclusive” six weeks ago, yesterday’s report appears to be true.

But while paraparazzi trip over themselves to try to land the coveted exclusive baby photos, let’s just remind ourselves that — with the rare exception depicted on “Seinfeld” — all babies are really cute, so it’s really no big deal.

Yes, I’m bitter I can’t take the first photos of the twins and hock them for millions. What was your first clue?

(AP Photo of Brangelina/Matt Sayles; AP Photo of birth certificate/Claude Paris)

Brooke Shields stops traffic — literally — in West Nyack

First up, big ups to Aman Ali for joing the Suburbarazzi family. Good times ahoy! Now, back to the mildly relevant celebrity news to which you’ve all grown accustomed:brooke.jpg

Brooke Shields was in West Nyack yesterday, filming a Volkswagen commercial on Route 59. There were traffic delays as a result of the shoot.

When I realized that I’d be somewhere between Somewhat Miffed and Mildly Intrigued on the trapped-in-traffic reaction to this news, it got me thinking: What so-called celebrity would cause the most anger as far as a traffic hold-up is concerned? And which one would make you feel so impressed, that you felt like you were the one inconveniencing the actor?

For me, I’d probably be cursing and honking loudest if the shoot involved anybody from “The Hills.” And I’d put my car in reverse so as not to disturb the unexpected commercial work of Meryl Streep or Denzel Washington.

Aw, who am I kidding? I’d try to crash any of those shoots just to try to land a scoop for Suburbarazzi. I care about my readers, doggone it.

But I ask you, dear readers, which traffic-stopping celebrity would cause you the most agita?

(AP Photo/NBC, Jon Ragel)

Never fear, your new Suburbarazzo is here

If you haven’t heard, Ted Mann (aka T-Money) will be leaving the Journal News later this summer. I, Aman Ali, shall take his place patrolling the streets of Suburbia and monitoring which of our local celebrities have been pulled over for driving their Lexuses under the influence of too much Haha Juice.

To tell you about myself, I am a 23-year-old trapped in a 23-year-old’s body born three days after myself. And I’m pretty awesome at making grilled cheese sandwiches. Oh, and beating 8-year-olds in video games. If you’ve never beaten an 8-year-old in Guitar Hero 3, you really should. It does marvels for your self esteem. And it’s therapeutic for your soul. Take that, Deepak Chopra.

What are my credentials you ask? Ah yes. I’ve been a reporter at the Journal News since 2007. And I regularly go to comedy clubs across the country, telling audience members humorous stories while I’m on stage in a standing up position. I’m not sure what that profession is called. Well, talking to an audience could be considered dictation, so I think that makes me a dictator?

Lorraine Bracco: Poster child for the Realtor racket?

Lately I’ve been in the market for a home and, inevitably, I’ve been become positively addicted to Realtor.com. So much so that I’m actually reading the articles archived on their site. One of which was an interview with Sneden’s Landing homeowner Lorraine Bracco.

Now, I think it’s great that Bracco says Realtors are boss in the Q&A, but her optimism about housing as an investment struck me as a little odd. After all, the home she’s trying to sell in Rockland has been on the market for four years. She’s dropped the price from $4.4 million to $2.9 mil. (Incidentally, it’s still listed on the Mason Sammett site, if you’re interested.)

Yet she still says, “I’ve never had a bad experience with real estate or a real estate professional.” A few other incongruous excerpts from the interview after the break.

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76ers rookie Herbert Hill 86ed from the Saw Mill Parkway

All I have to say is, if you haven’t already signed up for LoHud’s news alerts, you’re missing out (it’s as simple as texting “lohud” to 44636). I got an SMS about this story while coming home from the gym and, voila, this morning’s post is all taken care of.

herbert-hill.jpgThe newsflash is that Hill, a 23-year-old forward for the Philadelphia 76ers, was pulled over for drunk driving in Mount Kisco. He was stopped at about 4:30 am when police saw him make an unsafe lane change. Now, while I would never, ever condone drunk driving, like some of our Suburbarazzi regulars (cough, Nick DiPaolo, DMX), I will say this in Hill’s defense: At 4:30 on that stretch of the Saw Mill, there’s probably no such thing as a safe lane change. Same goes for the Bronx River and Hutch and just about every other windy-ass parkway in Westchester County. Thanks a million, Robert Moses.

Anyway, Hill was released to his friends at 7 am and is due back in court on July 24.

LoHud Article

Podcast: July 9

On the show this week: Wall-E’s connection to Yonkers, Rosie O’Donnell’s “affair” with Cindy Adams, and Nick DiPaolo’s very unfunny experience following a USO comedy show.

<a href=”http://www.lohud.com/assets/mov/070808_Suburbarazzi_lohud.mp4″ title=”Anarchy Media Player – Right click to download file” class=”noimg”><em>Podcast file</em></a>

<a href=”http://www.lohud.com/assets/mov/070808_Suburbarazzi_lohud.flv” title=”Anarchy Media Player – Right click to download file”><em>Flash video</em></a>

At the end of the video and after the break is the answer to this week’s quiz: The Pleasantville Music Festival this Saturday will feature Joan Osborne, who landed a huge hit in the ‘90s with “One of Us.” Which of these Mike Myers movie characters claimed to write that song?

A) Wayne Campbell
B) Austin Powers
C) Dr. Evil
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