DMX Arrested for Identity Theft

Are you keeping score at home of the number of DMX arrests this year? If my math is correct, I think we’re at eleventy fafillion.


This time, the rapper and Bedford homeowner was arrested in Phoenix this past weekend on a felony charge of identity theft, according to the Associated Press. It all started in April, when he used a fake name and Social Security number to avoid paying a $7,500 medical bill.

I bet O.J. Simpson is in his home thinking “Damn, and I thought I screwed up.”

Apparently DMX, whose real name is Earl Simmons, checked into the Mayo Clinic in April for pneumonia, using the fake name “Troy Jones.”

Troy Jones? Dude, DMX has sold millions of records. He would have had a better shot fooling someone with the name Turd Ferguson.

Police followed the case for months and arrested him Saturday once they had enough evidence. As DMX was carried away by police, he turned to the horde of TV cameras and said “Harassment.”

Classic. But seriously, how many times can he possibly get arrested? He’s been handcuffed more times than Eliot Spitzer on a business trip.

(AP Photo/ Louis Lanzano)

David Lee Roth: Imposter dupes Canadian cops into thinking he’s me

This is precisely why journalists are taught to source their material.

On July 9, Suburbarazzi linked to a Toronto Sun story, one of many media outlets to report that Canadian police pulled over Van Halen frontman David Lee Roth because he was speeding and suffering from a peanut allergy.

diamond-dave.jpgRoth, through a statement, said Thursday that the report was completely false.

I was in Canada only from July 1st through the 4th for a performance at the Quebec City Summer Festival. I had no encounters or incidents with the police. The only thing I’m allergic to is criticism.

Adds Suburbarazzi: “And maybe hair growth.”

According to multiple sources, the Diamond Dave impostor’s name is David Kuntz and has a bit of a troubled history with the law, his family and his exgirlfriends. Yikes.

What was true about the original Suburbarazzi post were all the Journal News facts about Roth’s work to become an EMT at the Rockland County Fire Training Center in Ramapo in 2004. So, yay. Go us.

So, here’s what I decided to do in the interest of accuracy. I deleted the original Suburbarazzi item outright because the edits required would have rendered it practically unreadable. The fun and accurate facts about Roth’s times in the Lower Hudson Valley, collected by former colleague and good buddy Sulaiman Beg, are still subject to your perusal after the break. Continue reading

No Joke: Heath Ledger’s Oscar buzz boosted as ‘Dark Knight’ has record-breaking weekend

Like pretty much everyone else in the country this weekend, I caught “The Dark Knight.” Beyond the gripping action sequences, moody ambiance and stellar special effects, the haunting performance of the late Heath Ledger is what makes the movie a must-see.

ledger.jpgTrue to the accounts I’d heard and read prior to seeing the movie, he disappears into the role in a way that unfathomably outdoes Jack Nicholson, who by comparison was playing a cranky Jack Nicholson in clown makeup. Among comic book movies I’ve seen, Ledger made the Joker by far the most believable villain, making his posthumous performance all the more chilling. He made the character murderous but multidimensional, ruthless but riotous.

Unlike Daniel Day-Lewis’ performance in “There Will Be Blood,” Ledger’s isn’t quite the slam-dunk for a best actor Oscar, but even with months to go before the Academy Awards and a previous nod for “Brokeback Mountain,” it would be hard to argue against another nomination at this point of the movie season.

Oscar-winner Ang Lee, a Larchmont resident who directed Ledger in “Brokeback Mountain,” said a few months ago that when he heard Ledger’s Joker hiss the line “Let’s put a smile on that face,” Lee didn’t recognize the actor behind it until he looked at the screen.

I couldn’t believe that was Heath. He was such a different person, used such a different voice for Brokeback Mountain. It’s haunting, how much he disappeared into his characters. It wasn’t until I heard that, that I realized just how gifted he was with his voice.

But talent isn’t the only reason Ledger, who died Jan. 22 after an apparent accidental drug overdose, has been missed. A day after his death, Suburbarazzi noted that CNN printed a quote attributed to Dan Bova of Larchmont:

Once when I was driving in Brooklyn, I got a flat tire. As I was jacking up my car, this deep voice from behind me said, ‘Need a hand?’ It was Heath Ledger. I couldn’t believe it. He helped jack up my car and change the tire. He was really good with tools!

All the more reason that the six Americans who haven’t already seen “The Dark Knight” should do so sooner than later.

(Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures/USA Today.)

Martha Stewart Blogs Her Trip to Bedford DMV

Hat tip to Mr. Walter Barrett for alerting me about this one.


Martha Stewart on Friday went to the DMV in Bedford to renew her license and decided to share a tale about the trek with her loyal blog readers.

Only Martha would blog about the most uneventful errand in the history of the universe. I haven’t laughed so hard in a while. I would have killed to be in the DMV that day. She posted tons of pictures of her waiting in line, that I’m sure one of her assistants took.

You really need to give Martha her props though. She’s the only woman that I know of that can wear a white knitted scarf to the DMV. Me on the other hand, I wore a Tribe Called Quest shirt that had a Taco Bell stain on it. Classy.

(AP Photo/Frank Franklin Ii)

At least 11 Emmy noms with Lohud connections, score!

The Suburbarazzi has been fishing through the list of Emmy nominees and we’ve come up with quite a hefty list of connections to the lower Hudson Valley. Leave a comment if you find more.

Lead Actress in a Drama
Glenn Close, Damages — house in Bedford

Actress In a Miniseries or a Movie
Susan Sarandon, Bernard And Doris — home in Pound Ridge

Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty — lives in Chappaqua

Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Kevin Dillon, Entourage — grew up in Mamaroneck

Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie
Audra McDonald, Raisin in the Sun — Lives in Croton

Guest Actor in a Comedy
Rip Torn, 30 Rock — arrested for DUI in North Salem in 2007

Guest Actor in a Drama
Stanley Tucci, ER — went to John Jay in Katonah, lives in North Salem

Guest Actress in a Comedy
Edie Falco, 30 Rock — went to SUNY Purchase

Guest Actress in a Drama
Ellen Burstyn, Big Love — Lives in Nyack


Best Made for TV Movie
Raisin in the Sun, executive produced by Sean “Diddy” Combs — grew up in Mount Vernon

(Diddy: AP Photo/Chris Pizzello; Susan Sarandon: AP Photo/Martial Trezzini)

A marriage made in ‘Heroes’ heaven?

Shhh, shhh, don’t anybody tell Palisades native Hayden Panettiere, but her “Heroes” beau, Milo Ventimilgia, is reportedly out shopping for a ring. According to InTouch Weekly (not to be confused with the distinctly more highbrow and restaurant-review packed InTown Monthly), the 31-year-old actor’s “pal” said:

Milo was looking at rings in late June. He really likes Cartier and intends to spend around $200,000.

Stop the presses. Does Venti know that “Heroes” is, oh, one more bad season away from getting the ol’ heave ho?

Lest he’s enlisting the time-stopping skills of Hiro to go steal his $200k rock, I’d try and scale back a bit. Oh, and maybe also hold off on the proposal until Hayden is at least 20 years old.

(Photo: NBC Universal)

Bob Woodruff back in the anchor’s seat

Two years after suffering a near-fatal bomb attack in Iraq, Rye resident Bob Woodruff is anchoring the news once again. Only now it’s not ABC’s “World News Tonight,” but instead a new series on Planet Green called “Focus Earth.” The show is still produced by ABC, and features many of the network’s usual suspects (George Stephanopoulos, for example), but it’s one of the first chances that we’ve had to see Woodruff shine on television since his tank in Iraq hit that IED.


The first episode of “Focus Earth” aired last Saturday, and while I missed it, I hear it was pretty decent, for tree huggers and tree ho-hummers alike. Woodruff went to the Northeastern corner of Montana to see how the American prarie is under siege by developers and agriculture. In particular, he profiled the American Prairie Foundation, which is buying up land to create a 3-million-acre reserve for bison and other native wildlife. [recap here]

No word yet on what episode 2 has in store, but be sure to set your TiVos for this Saturday, 6 p.m., to find out.

My plea to Kate Mara: Tell Uncle John to nix ridic fees for Giants season-ticket holders!

Actress Kate Mara has it all: Stunning natural beauty. Legitimate movie career (“Shooter,” the underrated “We Are Marshall” and the upcoming “Transsiberian,” for examps). And, of course, a Lower Hudson Valley pedigree as a Bedford native and Fox Lane High School grad.

katemara.jpgSo I’m hoping she can use her high-profile powers of persuasion to convince her uncle, New York Giants CEO John Mara, to nix the one-time fees that he’s subjected to season-ticket holders to ensure they have the chance to buy seats at the new stadium.

When I first heard about this, I thought, “Well, how bad could it really be per seat? $50? $100?” Try a minimum of $1,000. (Yeah, with a comma and everything.) The maximum fee? Twenty large.

And yes, those are the fees to pay before buying actual tickets, whose cost I’ve heard has been estimated at 32.9 bajillion dollars, give or take a few kajillion.

Now, although I’ve always been a fan of Big Blue, I’ve only been to two or three games at the Meadowlands, so it’s not like I have anything to gain by the removal of the fees attached these so-called “personal seat licenses,” a.k.a. muggings with totally arbitrary monetary values. It’s just common sense not to burn the ticket-holders that endured the Ray Handley era.

If Kate Mara’s mere asking doesn’t change her uncle’s mind, perhaps she could record a convincing public service announcement. On a minimalist set, while half-sitting on a stool, she could look mournfully into the camera and pitch the following:

Uncle John, please revoke the personal seat licenses. I’m a well-behaved actress in Hollywood, but if you don’t change your ways, your niece might just become the next Lindsay Lohan. (Cue the sparkly “The More You Know” rainbow.)

If that doesn’t change his mind, nothing will.

But say Johnny doesn’t budge. I do have a Plan B.

I’m not sure how much Ms. Mara makes per picture, but if her steadily improving career means she’s approaching seven figures per movie, and she donates the money she makes from one flick to her uncle in lieu of the season-ticket holders’ fees, I would be magnanimous enough to go on a date with her. It’s a sacrifice I think I could make for all of us Giants fans.

All of you, including Kate, can thank me later.

(AP Photo/Evan Agostini)

Joan Rivers to be on Celebrity Apprentice

Larchmont native Joan Rivers said recently she’ll be one of the contestants on the next season of Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice. Mazel Tov to the Canadian Jewish News for breaking the story.

So, the fact that I cited the Canadian Jewish News made you laugh, eh? How dare you mock the credibility of the organization whose weddings gallery won best special section last year by the Quebec Community Newspaper Association?

Interestingly enough, Joan admitted to never watching the Celebrity Apprentice. Oye Ve! Well, neither has the rest of the planet.

(AP Photo/Jennifer Graylock)

Mamaroneck reaches out to America’s Most Wanted

Village police have turned to John Walsh’s Fox show America’s Most Wanted in their investigation of the stabbing death of letter carrier Stephen Spina in September.


The death of Spina, whose body was found in his apartment, remains a mystery. His girlfriend, one of the last to see him alive, was asked by village detectives to take a lie detector test, but refused, a family member of the victim’s has told The Journal News.

Last year Fox aired an AMW episode about another mystery in the village called “The Unknown Butcher of Mamaroneck, N.Y.” The segment was about an unidentified torso that washed up on a Mamaroneckbeach in March 2007.

(AP Photo/Joe Marquette)

Podcast: July 16

A special trouble-with-the-law edition of Suburbarazzi this week: Herbert Hill’s Mount Kisco DUI, DMX’s latest arrest in Miami, and Bill Murray’s divorce settlement.

<a href=”″ title=”Anarchy Media Player – Right click to download file” class=”noimg”><em>Podcast file</em></a>

<a href=”” title=”Anarchy Media Player – Right click to download file”><em>Flash video</em></a>

Also, this week was our final Suburbarazzi segement with RNN’s Stacy-Ann Gooden. I wanted to give her a big hug and throw together a Best of Stacy-Ann reel, but since her departure wasn’t quite official when we taped the piece, we couldn’t put any of that in there. But as my Chris so eloquently put it in his post yesterday, working with Stacy-Ann has been one of the great joys of our jobs for the last year. Every Tuesday afternoon was a little brighter because of her.

Plus, I’m happy to report, after a string of recent, uncharacteristic wrong answers, Stacy-Ann got her final Suburbarazzi quiz correct!

Can you get this multiple-choice question right, too?

Which Lower Hudson Valley celebrity told Fox News that they’d move to Canada if Barack Obama was elected president?

A. Rip Torn
B. Bonnie Fuller
C. Donald Trump
D. Stephen Baldwin

Answer after the break and at the end of the video clip.

Continue reading