I’m trying really hard not to giggle while I type this post.
As we’ve talked about before on this blog, DMX was arrested earlier this month for identity theft â€” after giving a fake name at a Mayo health clinic to avoid paying a medical bill there.
Apparently during his hearing on Thursday, the Associated Press said DMX rapped for reporters outside of the courtroom and reminded them to get his album on Oct. 14.
“If and when you ever fall down, get back up … Stand for something or fall for everything. Wait for the right pitch, you’ll miss every swing,” DMX said.
If that’s the case, DMX has been striking out more times than Steve Urkel trying to bag a one-night-stand with Laura Winslow (Gasp! A “Family Matters” reference…. did I do that?). May Jaleel White and Kellie Shanygne Williams’ careers both rest in peace.
How awesome would it be if DMX’s trial was televised? I’m already fantasizing how his trial would go down:
“How does the defendant, Mr. Simmons plea?”
“Your honor, I plead, whaaaaaat! Arf arf! Oct. 14, nah mean?”
I guess when it comes to entertainment, “X Gon’ Give it to Ya.” This has got to be one of my favorite celebrity courtroom moments, right up there with Michael Jackson showing up to court in pajamas.
(AP Photo/ Louis Lanzano)
South Nyack resident Rosie O’Donnell could be getting her own weekly variety show on NBC, according to Entertainment Weekly.
Apparently NBC is trying to make a similar deal with Jay Leno, who was born in New Rochelle. Leno leaves his show next year and but is more likely to sign a deal with ABC, according to rumors. If that’s the case, a primetime NBC deal with Rosie sounds likely.
MSNBC earlier this year was close to giving Rosie her own own hour show but she claims the network “panicked” and backed out after the news broke out. I’m sure that’s what it was.
Yesterday, I had the chance to interview one of my all-time favorite stand-up comedians, Nick Di Paolo.
The northern Westchester resident spent about a week with the USO touring with other regulars from Howard Stern’s radio show: comedians Artie Lange, Dave Attell and Jim Florentine and producer Gary “Baba Booey” Dell’Abate. And just minutes after performing a set at in Kandahar, Afghanistan, the military base came under attack and they were shuttled to a bunker for protection.
More about that later. Right now, I want to share with you a clip of Nick talking about his experience firing a machine gun and nearly starting an “international incident” while flying in a Blackhawk:
Just as amusing? Attell’s e-mailed response to Di Paolo’s Rambo impersonation:
I don’t think I have ever seen him more excited and happy (than) when he got a chance to shoot machine guns out the door of a Blackhawk helicopter. Thank God he’s on our side.
More clips from my exclusive interview with Di Paolo will be posted next week. Have a great weekend, everyone!
(Photo by Carucha Meuse/The Journal News.)
Sandman’s Bail: $10,000. The fact a professional wrestler went bananas inside a restaurant and threw glasses at people: priceless.
Hat tip to our courts reporter Rebecca Baker on this one. Jim Fullington a.k.a. “The Sandman” was released yesterday after a $10,000 bail. If you recall, the former WWE and ECW wrestler got into a brawl Sunday night at a restaurant in Yonkers.
According to police, he was throwing glasses at people inside the restaurant, and threw a couple at the cops trying to subdue him. He was at a party for WWE wrestling legend Lou Albano a.k.a. “Captain Lou,” who happens to be a Mount Vernon native. Holler.
If you don’t remember Captain Lou, he was a tag-team member of the duo “The Sicilians” and even makes a cameo in Cindi Lauper’s music videos for “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and “Time After Time.”
I have no idea why I know that.
(Photo courtesy of Yonkers Police)
On the show this week: A former director and a stranded motorist — both from Larchmont — praise the late Heath Ledger, and a David Lee Roth impostor fools Canadian cops.
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At the end of the video and after the break is the answer to this week’s quiz: The twins of Brad Pitt and former Sneden’s Landing resident Angelina Jolie were born earlier this month in what country?
D. United States
The Olympic games in Beijing is coming up in the next week or two. Be sure to root for the local athletes representing our country:
James Blake (from Yonkers) â€” tennis
Courtney King-Dye (trains in Bedford) â€” dressage
McLain Ward (from Brewster) â€” equestrian
Sarah Mergenthaler (former coach at American Yacht Club in Rye) â€” sailing
Then we have a few local athletes representing other countries that deserve some love too:
Milan Jotanovic (Manhattan College) â€” shot put for Serbia
Aliann Pompey (Manhattan College) â€” track for Guyana
Joe Ryan (Manhattan College) â€” coach for Guyana
I’ll add more to the list if I find more and try to update you guys on their progress when the games start.
(Photo by Angela Gaul / The Journal News)
Fellow nerds and countrymen, lend me your ears! Today Marvel Comics will release the 500th issue of “The Uncanny X-Men.” There are only 8 known comic book series in the world to have achieved that milestone.
What’s the Suburbarazzi link? Some of you may not know this, but the mutant superheroes live at the X-Mansion, which is listed in the comic books at the address 1407 Graymalkin Lane in North Salem.
But not for long. Apparently in the 500th issue, the X-Men will be moving to San Francisco. Booooooo! Marvel Comics, I angrily shake my fist at thee.
I wonder if Beast and Gambit will tie the knot now that they’re in San Francisco.
(AP Photo / 20th Century Fox)
Some things in life just make me smile. Beagle puppies. Deluxe cheeseburgers. Amy Adams. Anything Bunk says on “The Wire.” And funny commercials.
But amusing ads inspire a wider grin when it combines a Yankees broadcaster (YES Network play-by-play man, Michael Kay), a rising comedy star (Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre icon Bobby Moynihan) and legit connections to the Lower Hudson Valley (Kay is a Hartsdale resident; Moynihan just happens to be a good friend of mine since our days as students at Eastchester Middle School).
Here’s the 30-second TV commercial for Kay’s ESPN talk-radio show. If you’re not at least cracking a smile once the “Brobot” kicks in, I don’t want to know you. Or at the very least, I don’t want to know you don’t like it.
I also found a 15-second version of the same commercial with an alternate ending involving “siz-zl-ing ba-con.” A worthy sequel, for certain.
Moynihan told me Kay was great to work with on the set, going so far as to call him “the bomb.” I’ve met Kay on a couple of occasions about a decade apart and I, too, can attest to this.
And if you’re asking, “Hey, is Michael Kay worthy of Suburbarazzi status?” He is for at least two reasons.
For starters, Page Six recently had an item about him in the Hamptons. Listen to Kay respond to the report, courtesy of a link from his radio-show Web site: here
And two, any celebrity is allowed to make the cut if deemed worthy by our esteemed panel of experts — picture Ted, Aman and me in judges’ robes and/or lab coats.
How dare you hypothetically question our authority!
(Photo by Mark Vergari/The Journal News.)
So I was brushing up on the latest beauty pageant news (like a good journalist should) and noticed this bizzare nugget from Newsday.
Leigh-Taylor Smith was crowned Miss New York over the weekend after already winning the Miss Brooklyn competition. But she’s originally from Virginia and now lives in Manhattan.
The runner up was Alyse Zwick, who already won the Miss Long Island competition but lives in Scarsdale.
According to the national Miss America requirements, beauty pageant contestants must fulfill one of three prerequisites: permanent residency, be a full-time student or a full-time employee.
But if you thought you had to live in Brooklyn to compete in that pageant, fuggedaboutit. Smith was able win Brooklyn’s competition because it was open to all five boroughs.
Zwick was able to compete in the Miss Long Island competition because she dances for Extreme Entertainment and is represented by Omnipop Talent Agency, both based in Long Island.
Personally, I thought Zwick should have won. Check out her pics on OmniPop’s site. Hay chihuahua!
Bill Murray is gonna jump. And it’s not because of those “Garfield” movies, either.
(Just kidding, Billy. You’re still one of my all-time favorite actors. Truth.)
On behalf of the U.S.O. of Illinois, the Sneden’s Landing resident and Second City native will be doing a tandem jump with the Golden Knights skydiving team at the Chicago Air and Water Show on Aug. 15, according to the Associated Press.
And now for a Suburbarazzi Match Game Exclusive! I love “SNL” way too much to pick on any of its cast members, so I’ll let you, the reading public, fill in the punch line accordingly:
I haven’t seen an “SNL” cast member choose to take a dive like this since [BLANK] tried to launch a movie career. Zing!
Maybe we’ll check your answers against those of Betty White and Richard Dawson in the near future. In the meantime, post away!
(AP Photo/Evan Agostini)
Ohhhhh yeah! Time to snap into a Slim Jim for this one.
Professional wrestler James Fullington, a.k.a. “the Sandman” was arrested Sunday night in Yonkers after throwing glasses at restaurant employees during a gathering of fellow wrestlers at La Lanterna. Hat tip goes out to our Yonkers crime reporter, Will David.
In case you haven’t brushed up on your wrestling history (shame on you if you haven’t), the Sandman was a multiple time heavyweight champion for Extreme Championship Wrestling, which eventually merged with World Wrestling Entertainment.
Police arrived at the restaurant at around 9:45 p.m. and found the Sandman throwing glasses at people in the restaurant. The Sandman then proceeded to throw glasses at the police.
Classy. I’m surprised he didn’t go for a running clothesline or a piledriver.
He was taken to the county jail in Valhalla for psychiatric treatment. I’m sure there will be more to come on this one, so stay tuned.
(Mugshot courtesy of Yonkers Police)
We don’t talk about Saugerties native Jimmy Fallon much here — that’s really more of a Mid-Hud town, isn’t it? — but this NY Times story, about how Lorne Michaels has decided to debut Jimmy Fallon’s “Late Night” show a year early, caught my eye.
As you may have already heard, a game of late-night television musical chairs is in the offing for next year, with Jay Leno leaving (possibly to ABC) in order to make room for Conan O’Brien to take over “Tonight,” which opens up Conan’s show for Fallon to take the reins. Still, even though that’s all going to happen in 2009, Michaels, who exec produces “Late Night,” couldn’t quite wait to get Fallon back on the air.
The plan? Create 5- to 10-minute webisodes of Fallon doing various Late Nighty things and post them at 12:30 a.m. daily, in order to give Fallon the rhythm of a nightly show and “more opportunity for experimentation,” said Michaels.
Or, to put a finer point on it, he wants to ensure that Fallon hits his stride around the same time his actual show hits the air, so as to avoid the awkward breaking-in phase — that same period that Conan stumbled in after his show debuted. No word yet about what website the clips will debut on, or when they’ll start going live.
It’s an interesting strategy, and one that I’d have a lot more faith in if we were talking about Andy Samberg or some other proven web juggernaut. As for Fallon, the only clip of his I’ve seen online his “lonelyfallon32,” which, while amusing, ain’t no “Lazy Sunday.”
<object width=”464″ height=”388″ classid=”clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000″><param name=”movie” value=”http://www2.funnyordie.com/public/flash/fodplayer.swf” /><param name=”flashvars” value=”key=5001″ /><param name=”allowfullscreen” value=”true” /><embed width=”464″ height=”388″ flashvars=”key=5001″ allowfullscreen=”true” quality=”high” src=”http://www2.funnyordie.com/public/flash/fodplayer.swf” type=”application/x-shockwave-flash”></embed></object><noscript>See <a href=”http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5001″>lonelyfallon32</a> and more <a href=”http://www.funnyordie.com”>funny videos</a> on <a href=”http://www.funnyordie.com”>FunnyOrDie.com</a></noscript><div style=”text-align:center;width:464px;”>See more <a href=”http://www.funnyordie.com”>funny videos</a> at Funny or Die</div>
(AP Photo/Evan Agostini)