Suburbarazzi

Never fear, your new Suburbarazzo is here

July

If you haven’t heard, Ted Mann (aka T-Money) will be leaving the Journal News later this summer. I, Aman Ali, shall take his place patrolling the streets of Suburbia and monitoring which of our local celebrities have been pulled over for driving their Lexuses under the influence of too much Haha Juice.

To tell you about myself, I am a 23-year-old trapped in a 23-year-old’s body born three days after myself. And I’m pretty awesome at making grilled cheese sandwiches. Oh, and beating 8-year-olds in video games. If you’ve never beaten an 8-year-old in Guitar Hero 3, you really should. It does marvels for your self esteem. And it’s therapeutic for your soul. Take that, Deepak Chopra.

What are my credentials you ask? Ah yes. I’ve been a reporter at the Journal News since 2007. And I regularly go to comedy clubs across the country, telling audience members humorous stories while I’m on stage in a standing up position. I’m not sure what that profession is called. Well, talking to an audience could be considered dictation, so I think that makes me a dictator?

This entry was posted on Monday, July 14th, 2008 at 11:53 am by Aman Ali.
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3 Responses to “Never fear, your new Suburbarazzo is here”

Chris Serico July 14th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Welcome aboard, Aman!

I demand an autographed cape.
Deepak Chopra July 14th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Hey, I like grilled cheese sandwiches, too. Why you hatin'?
Ted (aka T Money, aka T Bone, aka T Shirt, aka T Ball) July 14th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Consider the celebrity stalking torch hereby officially passed on. Going off the whole superhero theme, I feel like Charles Francis Xavier, turning over the keys to the Westchester X Mansion to Wolfman.

Only, come to think of it, you're the bald one and I suspect I'm much hairier. When you factor in the whole telekinesis thing, it really should be the other way around, shouldn't it?

So, dear blog readers, consider this X-Files in reverse … set to Dark Side of the Moon.

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