Donald Trump plans for his own death, yet still in denial over ‘The Apprentice’

Yesterday, the Newark Star-Ledger reported that The Donald plans to bury himself and his family in a mausoleum he intends to build next to the first hole of the Trump National golf course in Bedminster, N.J.

Said Trump:

<blockquote><div>Hopefully I’ll be around for a long time and I won’t have to worry about it, but it certainly could fit the bill.</div></blockquote>

Hey Donnie, what’s wrong with your course in Briarcliff Manor (above)? I’m sure many golfers have mourned their scores there, too.

Trump said he was in good health, but should he go the way of Anna Nicole Smith in the near future — assuming anyone could ever go that way again — what would he want his epitaph to read? Here are a few ideas:

•”Still looks better than Rosie O’Donnell”
•”His death was the greatest death in the history of death”
•”The only thing to last longer than his legacy will be his hair”

Check out more ideas after the break. And submit some of your own, too! Continue reading

A completely LoHud-centric guide to the Oscars

tjndc5-5dmf8sdtm4gx1k3277v_layout.jpgWe all know that 2006 was a down year for Lower Hudson Valley filmmakers at the Academy Awards. Few of the nominees have local roots, much less a connection to the region. Put simply, there’s no Ang Lee (Larchmont resident) or Matt Dillon (Mamaroneck native) to root for.

But hey, what fun are the awards if you can’t impose a little solipsistic order onto them? To wit, I present you with the nominees that have the best (read: most tenuous, but still kind of legit) connections to Westchester, Rockland, and Putnam. With the exception of Sasha Baron Cohen, who must win in the Best Adapted Screenplay category, these are the guys to root for.

BEST PICTURE<br />Babel: The movie was co-produced by New City native Steve Golin.

BEST ACTOR<br />Leonardo DiCaprio (“Blood Diamond”): Played Bronxville native Frank W. Abagnale onscreen and filmed parts of “Catch Me If You Can” in Yonkers.

BEST ACTRESS<br />Meryl Streep (“The Devil Wears Prada”): Has appeared at functions at the Jacob Burns Film Center.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR<br />Mark Wahlberg (“The Departed”): Cast Mamaroneck native Kevin Dillion in “Entourage,” the HBO comedy series based loosely on his life.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS<br />Rinko Kikuchi (“Babel”): Psych! I really got nothin for this category.

BEST DIRECTOR<br />Martin Scorsese (“The Departed”): Filmed some scenes from “The Departed” in White Plains. Not sure exactly which ones, but I never question IMDB.

BEST ART DIRECTION, CINEMATOGRAPHY, ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY, ORIGINAL SCORE, MAKEUP, and FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM<br />Pan’s Labyrinth: The movie is being put out by Picturehouse, the new mini-major studio helmed by Bronxville’s Bob Berney

SOUND MIXING and SOUND EDITING<br />Flags of Our Fathers: Stars Pelham native Joseph Cross

VISUAL EFFECTS<br />Poseidon: Stars the aforementioned Kevin Dillon

(AP Photo/Reed Saxon)

Inaugurating the Year or Sarandon

I’m the first to admit that the mid-winter seasonal-affective grumble-grumbles have taken hold. Maybe it’s the recent string of back-to-back magazine closings that’s got me stressed, maybe it’s the imminent cancellation of “Studio 60.” All I know for sure is that the above photo, of new Susan Sarandon and Seann William Scott from the comedy “Mr. Woodcock,” somehow brought a smile to my face.

And the trailer for the movie (release date still TBD) elicited a full-fledged laugh. Check it out HERE.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: 2007 will be The Year of Susan Sarandon. With at least seven other movies scheduled to come out according to IMDB — The Colossus, Eleanor & Colette, Emotional Arithmetic, In the Valley of Elah, Battle in Seattle, Enchanted, and Bernard and Doris — even if you aren’t tempted by “Woodcock” and it’s “School for Scoundrels”-ish premise, there’s sure to be another Sarandon film to your liking. Long live the descendant of Welsh bunny poachers!

(“Mr. Woodcock” photo from New Line Cinema)

Joseph Cross takes another sabbatical from Trinity College

josephcross.jpgThe up-and-coming Pelham native has signed on to star in “Untraceable,” a thriller about an FBI agent (played by Diane Lane) racing against time to track down an online predator (Cross’s character). Apparently, sophomore year at Trinity College will have to wait another year.The movie is supposed to begin filming soon in Portland.

When I interviewed Cross for the February issue of InTown, he told me that, after starring in “Running With Scissors” and “Flags of Our Fathers” back to back, he was finally ready to return to Trinity. “I’ve gotten really picky,â€? he told me. “But if there’s a great movie opportunity, or a director like PT or Wes Anderson calls me — let’s say I wouldn’t turn them down.â€?

Now, I don’t think the movie’s director, Gregory Hoblit, is in the same auteur league as PT or Wes — or M. Night Shyamalan, Clint Eastwood, or Ryan Murphy (the other directors Cross has worked with) — but the opportunity to play a cyber stalker villain is too good to pass up. You think Erika Christensen even considered college when she was offered the bad-guy role in “Swimfan”? No way, Jose.

(photo by Suzanne Tenner)

Are David Letterman and Paul Shaffer feuding?

Tom Shales, who cowrote one of my favorite books of all time, claims that he’s witnessed a breakdown of the professional relationship between golfing buddies/Westchester residents David Letterman and Paul Shaffer. I’ve seen “The Late Show” recently, and I have no reason to believe this.

Still, here’s what Shales wrote earlier this week:

<blockquote><div>Could it be that at long last, late-night king David Letterman is getting fed up with the zany inanities, forced cackled laughter and imbecilic interruptions of his long-time bandleader Paul Shaffer?

Shaffer made an annoyingly disruptive dope of himself on the first night of Letterman’s recent mock-event “Ventriloquist Week II� — rattling on and on about some obscure ventriloquist he used to see on “The Ed Sullivan Show� — and Letterman did little to hide his extreme disinterest, and displeasure, on the air. Shaffer couldn’t take a hint and kept babbling.</div></blockquote>

Who do you think is most in the wrong? Letterman? Shaffer? Or Shales?

(Associated Press file photo by Adam Rountree)

Where are they now?

Catching up with a few of my favorite fading celebs:

tjndc5-5cd7sx6jt6hrabsr761_layout-1.jpgRob Thomas: Last time I checked in on Thomas, a Mount Kisco resident, he was holding a benefit concert at Blythedale Children’s Hospital last December. But apparently he’s also been hard at work on the documentary “My Secret Record” about his days in Matchbox 20 debut solo album, which is set to debut in Nashville in April. Is it too early to start lobbying for a sequel about his days writing songs for Taylor Hicks? [WKRN]

tjndc5-5dm6c4nmpdd18uuwd93f_layout.jpgDaniel Baldwin: The fugitive brother of Bedford’s Billy and Upper Grandview’s Stephen finally turned up in Detroit (where he, horror of horrors, was actually acting in a movie) after an arrest warrant had been issued for him last week. He pled guilty to felony charges that he illegally took another person’s 2003 GMC Yukon. Sigh. If only Baldwin’s remake of “Car 54, Where Are You?” had come out this year rather than 1994, I might have a good punchline here. [MSNBC]

Michael O’Keefe: Noonan! I had the good fortune to meet the star of “Caddyshack” last year when I was reporting a story on the decline of caddies in Westchester (he grew up in Mamaroneck and caddied at Winged Foot), and I’ve been keeping tabs ever since. That’s why I was totally psyched to hear that he’s got a new flick, “Cherry Crush,” in theaters right now! Wait, I should qualify that — in theaters in Rochester. Actually, just one theater. And tonight’s the last night. So be sure to head over to the Little Theatre to catch the “teen film noir” at either 7:30 and 9:50 p.m. [Democrat & Chronicle]


(Thomas: AP Photo/Disney Enterprises, Todd Anderson; Baldwin: AP Photo/Orange County Sheriffs Department; O’Keefe: Stephen Schmitt / InTown Westchester)

DMX brand name just ain’t what it used to be

tjndc5-5b5jcsvcans12he1wezi_layout.jpgAfter already launching DMX Authentic and a line of canine clothes, Mount Kisco’s most notorious speeder is expanding his apparel arsenal to include the Earl Simmons Signature Collection.

It will be a “rough edge of hip-hop mixed with the practicality of the no nonsense, no frills clothing that active and rugged men want,” explained company reps to Chronic Magazine. “Real clothing for real people is the inspiration in what many refer to as the ‘X Factor’ in the DMX apparel collections.” Except, with no actual “X” in the name. More like the “S” factor.

So, what exactly is the difference between the DMX-branded clothes and the new Earl Simmons ensembles? The thinking is that the former will be more basic, while the latter will include high-end goods. In other words, he’s boldly turning the Sean John business model on its head — selling his birth-name at a markup, instead of the Macy’s sale rack.

All I know is, if driving moccasins are part of the new lineup, I’m sold.


(AP Photo/ Louis Lanzano)

David Letterman and Paul Shaffer remind us that golf is funny (and not just because it’s not a sport)

Ah, YouTube. Where would we be without you? Oh, off doing more productive things, I suppose.

Check out this vintage YouTube clip of North Salem’s David Letterman and Bedford’s Paul Shaffer golfing. In addition to the requisite Letterman hairpiece joke, check out Paul’s hair — he actually had some!

If you like your comedy golf-themed (I’m looking toward Sneden’s Landing, Mr. Murray), check out Brian Howard’s documentation of “30 Rock’s” Westchester links hijinks or relive Bob Saget’s ego trip following a jaunt to another unspecified Westchester golf course.

(Photo by Tom Nycz/The Journal News)

Where do the Clintons go to church?

This last week, both Newsweek and the New York Times published stories related to Hillary’s strong religious roots, posing the question of whether her spiritual side might help her presidential candidacy. The Times story, in particular, wondered whether both Clinton and Obama have the edge over the leading Republicans, Giuliani and McCain, due to their churchgoing ways:


It’s not hard to envision Clinton and Obama among the faithful. She is a lifelong Methodist and self-described “praying person,� and he belongs to a church where some years ago he found himself (in his own words) “kneeling beneath that cross� in submission “to His will.� Both slip easily into the earnest, humble-of-the-earth mode of liberal God talk. But McCain and Giuliani? You somehow imagine them fidgeting during the hymns and checking their watches.</div></blockquote>

Newsweek pointed out that Hillary became a person of faith early in life:


The Rev. Don Jones, a Methodist minister who is now 75, was perhaps Hillary’s earliest spiritual and political mentor. She has written of her “lifelong friendship” with him. … he helped her through the darkest period in her life, the aftermath of her husband’s affair with Monica Lewinsky.

Precocious and confident, 13-year-old Hillary was an active member of her Methodist church in Park Ridge, Ill., when Jones arrived in 1961 to lead the youth group. … Hillary, politically aware even then, was a budding Republican who took after her staunchly conservative father. In long discussions at the church, Jones introduced Hillary to the left. The young minister was determined to show his white, privileged parishioners the world beyond their suburban town. </div></blockquote>

All this got me to thinking: Where do the Clintons actually go to church now? I scoured The Journal News archives and did a bunch of web searches, but aside from one sketchy site, I couldn’t find anything indicating where the two worship. Do they go to the United Methodist Church of Mount Kisco? The Bethel Baptist Church? Anyone know?

“Narrowing the Religion Gap” [NY Times]

“What Are Hillary Clinton’s Religious Beliefs?” [Newsweek]

(AP Photo/Shawn Baldwin)

‘Dancing With the Stars’ announces its new line-up

tjndc5-5cemwwhv5kov2kpp20r_layout.jpgThe new contestants of “Dancing with the Stars� were announced this morning and true to the show’s definition of the word “star�: I have no idea who any of them are. Okay, I’m kidding…sort of. The most interesting contestant is Heather Mills—the woman going through one of the nastiest divorces since Oliver and Barbara Rose called it quits—yes, that’s a “War of the Roses� reference. Her soon-to-be-ex-hubby is Beatle Paul McCartney (who was once married—much more happily—to Scarsdale scion Linda Louise Eastman).

Other contestants this year include: Laila Ali (daughter of legendary boxer Muhammad Ali), country singer Billy Ray Cyrus, former basketball player Clyde Drexler, ‘N Sync-er Joey Fatone (not the cute one or the gay one), former Miss USA Shandi Finnessey, talk show host Leeza Gibbons, Paulina Porizkova (who apparently was a model in the early 80s and posed for Playboy), Ian Ziering (from 90210), Sopranos actor Vincent Pastore, and speed skater Apollo Anton Ohno.

Can any of them dance? Will any of them hook up with their professional dance partners (like a few stars were rumored to have done last season)? And, isn’t Heather Mills kind of at a disadvantage since she—you know—only has one leg? We’ll find out March 19th.

(AP Photo / Lefteris Pitarakis)

Donald Trump to pull a Britney?

tjndc5-5dlh2ssh5gp5i2z2f7e_layout.jpgIn case you haven’t heard already, attention-starved Donald made a bizarre bet with World Wrestling Entertainment owner Vince McMahon. It’ll work like this: Trump and McMahon will each pick a wrestler to represent them at Wrestlemania 23, on April 1, to be held at Detroit’s Ford Field. The loser then needs to shave his head.

In all likelihood, it’s just an incredibly dopey April Fools Day prank. But still, I wondered, what would the Donald look like if he finally buzzed off that famous combover? Actually, I think it might work for him. Here’s one conceptual rendering (sort of). What do you think?

“Trump’s hair on the line at Wrestlemania” [Forbes]

(AP Photo)

And She’s Back! Rosie dumps on Trump during her family cruise outing…plus, she invites bald Britney to rehab with her in Nyack

Remember the Rosie-Donald feud? That was fun. Oh wait, apparently it’s not over yet. On Sunday, the talk show queen made fun of the bruising billionaire during the opening-night festivities of her latest R Family Vacations Caribbean cruise, E! is reporting.

According to a witness, the showtunes-loving View host, finished off a big production number staring at a poster of Trump, and said “You’re fired.� Later, O’Donnell mentioned Trump’s interview with Larry King, when the Apprentice star told the CNN host he didn’t find O’Donnell “sexually attractive.� O’Donnell replied Sunday, sarcastically, “It was always my dream to give a balding billionaire a bo**r.� Did we mention this was a family cruise?!


Apparently, the comedienne also took aim at her boss, Barbara Walters.

<blockquote><div>She recounted the time Eva Longoria was a guest on The View and Walters asked the Desperate Housewives star if she had skinned any cats lately. O’Donnell explained that Longoria had said in a previous interview that she had grown up on a ranch and skinned a deer. “Working with Barbara,” O’Donnell said, “is like working with your nana.”</div></blockquote>


And while we’re at it: Rosie also weighed in on the Britney balding story. On her blog, O’Donnell suggested she take in the wayward former pop idol…

<blockquote><div>i want [her] to come live with us
thinking there is healing here
it worked for me</div></blockquote>

Wait, did Rosie just invite Britney to Nyack…through poetry? There goes the neighborhood.(AP Photo/Mary Altaffer)