Artie Lange, the sidekick of the former Briarcliff Manor deejay Howard Stern, this morning laughed at studio guest Bob SagetÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s driving skills and gullibility on a 1998 trip back from a Westchester golf course.
Saget, the Ã¢â‚¬Å“Full HouseÃ¢â‚¬? star who directed Lange and former Ã¢â‚¬Å“Saturday Night LiveÃ¢â‚¬? star Norm MacDonald in the 1998 movie Ã¢â‚¬Å“Dirty Work,Ã¢â‚¬? had flown with MacDonald to New York to promote its theatrical release.
Recalled Lange: Ã¢â‚¬Å“TheyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re going on a golfing trip up in, like, Westchester, (and) say, Ã¢â‚¬ËœYou wanna come?Ã¢â‚¬â„¢ IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m like, Ã¢â‚¬ËœI donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t golf, but IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll come.Ã¢â‚¬â„¢Ã¢â‚¬? Saget and his personal assistant joined MacDonald and Lange on the links of a Westchester golf course that Lange didn’t name.
Ã¢â‚¬Å“It was fun, right?Ã¢â‚¬? Saget said in the studio.
Lange agreed, then recounted that Saget wanted to drive LangeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s brand new black Cadillac Eldorado back to New York City. Ã¢â‚¬Å“We get down to the West Side Highway, getting back into New York (City) and he just had it pinned, man,Ã¢â‚¬? Lange said. Ã¢â‚¬Å“WeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re doing like 120 (mph).Ã¢â‚¬?
In the studio, Saget laughed and protested, claiming he wasnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t driving that fast.
Ã¢â‚¬Å“So we get to, like, 56th Street, where you can re-enter Manhattan,” Lange said. “He makes a left like Ã¢â‚¬ËœStarsky and Hutch,Ã¢â‚¬â„¢ like, screeching out. Ã¢â‚¬Â¦ So, weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re speeding down the street; he hits a big pothole, blows out my [bleeping] tire.Ã¢â‚¬?
Ã¢â‚¬Å“And it sounded like the axel broke,Ã¢â‚¬? Saget added.
On 10th Avenue, the foursome flagged down a tow-truck whose driver was not fluent in English. After the four headed back to the towing facility, MacDonald spoke with the tow-truck operator alone.
Find out how MacDonald pranked Saget at a tow station after the break.
Said Lange: Ã¢â‚¬Å“Norm comes back and says to me and Bob, he goes, Ã¢â‚¬ËœListen, man, the guy doesnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want any money, but heÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s a huge fan of BobÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s, and all he wants is an autograph for his daughters.Ã¢â‚¬â„¢ Ã¢â‚¬Â¦ Of course, the guy didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t know who the [bleep] Bob was.Ã¢â‚¬?
SternÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s crew laughed, then Lange continued: Ã¢â‚¬Å“So Bob walks up to the guy and the guyÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s practically, like, passed out tired, and (Saget) goes, Ã¢â‚¬ËœYeah, so, uh, listen, whatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s your daughterÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s name? Can IÃ¢â‚¬â€Ã¢â‚¬â„¢ And the guy was like, Ã¢â‚¬ËœWhat?Ã¢â‚¬â„¢ He goes, Ã¢â‚¬ËœEight hundred dollars.Ã¢â‚¬â„¢Ã¢â‚¬?
In the studio, Saget confirmed his own naÃƒÂ¯vetÃƒÂ©. Ã¢â‚¬Å“The best part was I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t understand the guy saying he didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t know who I was,Ã¢â‚¬? he said. Ã¢â‚¬Å“I said, Ã¢â‚¬ËœNo, seriously, I can mail it to you.Ã¢â‚¬â„¢ He goes, Ã¢â‚¬ËœI donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t know who you are, man.Ã¢â‚¬â„¢Ã¢â‚¬?
Prior to the prank, Saget said he would pay for the damage, according to Lange. But the bill was split four ways and that, almost 10 years later, Saget still hadnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t paid his share, Lange said.
In the studio, Saget said he already paid, and would give Lange — a self-described former heroin user — whatever he wants.
Ã¢â‚¬Å“Artie, IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll put you on Ã¢â‚¬Ëœ1 vs. 100.Ã¢â‚¬â„¢ You can play for, like, a rehab center or something,Ã¢â‚¬? Saget said.
(Associated Press file photo by Chris Polk)