Santas Gone Wild

palisadessanta.jpegNow that the obligatory three-day waiting period has passed, let the Saint Nicholas mockery begin!

• Ever wondered what Santa would look like if he was played by Rip Torn — and not the cuddly Larry Sanders version, but the mug-shot one arrested for a DWI in North Salem? Thanks to Gallery of the Absurd, now you know.

• Which is worse: Santa’s thumbs-up and O-faced reaction to Hayden Panettiere wrapping her legs around his mid-section, or the fact that I even found the photo in the first place?

• Apparently the Santa at the Palisades Mall is the only high-powered list-maker who doesn’t care to weigh on Rosie O’Donnell. As he put it to — shameless plug alert — Rockland Magazine: “Rosie? I wouldn’t comment on any individual people. Santa looks for the good in everybody and finds it.” Yeah, good luck with that.

Photo of Palisades Center Santa (aka Bill Barrett) by Mark Vergari / Rockland Magazine.

Ted Mann

Ted Mann aspires to join Stephen Baldwin’s Breakthrough Ministry, more commonly known as “skateboarding for the savior." Before becoming a Senior Editor at InTown, he worked at The Atlantic Monthly, the Philadelphia City Paper, and the University of Pennsylvania Press. His writing has also appeared in The New York Times, The New York Press, and The Pennsylvania Gazette.