Archive for December, 2006
Ah, remember the good ol’ days when watching Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve was the default? But ever since last year’s cringe-inducing show, in which Clark was visibly unsteady and sometimes difficult to understand, I’ve been contemplating switching over to the dark side that is “NBC’s New Year’s Eve with Carson Daly, Presented by Chevrolet.” Then, when I heard that Palisades native Hayden Panettiere would be teaming up with Tommy Lee again — reprising the act they put on at VH1’s Big in ’06 Awards — that pretty much sealed the deal.
If you didn’t happen to catch Lee’s lecherous advances on VH1, check out the YouTube clip.
Will Tommy again try to sweet talk the 17-year-old into some sort of statutory situation? Will Hayden seductively serenade the aging rocker with her single “Your New Girlfriend”? Tune in to find out — and then feel icky about the whole thing for the next week.
(AP Photos/Matt Sayles)
Still no definitive plans for New Years Eve? Consider a laid back but humorous evening at Reality Bites where we’ll screen my first film for HBO, “Men are From Manhattan…Women are From Saskatchewan.”
This 70 minute film chronicles what happened when I spent 12 days in NYC with a woman I didn’t really know while my ex stalked us. Premiering on Valentine’s Day 1998, it was kind of a pioneer of the “reality” genre.
The film will start at 10pm. No prix fixe, just eat and drink whatever you want. At 11:15 we’ll switch to TV coverage in Times Square. Feel free to stay for free champagne at midnight or choose to walk down to Memorial Park for the fireworks.
To reserve a table or couch, please call 845.358.8800.</div></blockquote>
(Photo courtesy Steve Manin)
New Year’s Resolution Roundup • 12.29.06
Alan Ruck (Piermont): I will not star in “Drive,” that dopey sounding Fox series about underground car racing, after all. [Reuters]
Debra Winger (Irvington): I will prove to fans that I’m not dead — just a little loopy — by returning the theater for an experimental, interactive show that uses cylindrical pods and elevator rides. Yes, I’ll totally blow their minds! [Playbill]
Bob Woodruff (Rye): I will play “tennis with that little ball that wonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t do too much damage if it hits you in the head.” [Broadcasting and Cable]
Rosie O’Donnell (South Nyack): I will become the next Bob Barker. [Defamer]
Aaron Sorkin (Scarsdale): I will stop portraying my girlfriend, Kristin Chenoweth, as an intolerant homophobe on “Studio 60” — if only to stop her from whining about it to newspapers. [Newsday]
Rob Thomas (Bedford): I will reunite with Matchbox Twenty … only to turn around and break up with them a week later because, hey, it’s just so crazy fun to toy with their fragile emotions. [Contact Music]
Stephen Baldwin (Upper Grandview): I will sue the pants off anyone who tries to take a picture of me with my three heathen brothers. [The Showbuzz]
Year-in-Review Haiku: Aaron “Hug Boy” Perez • 12.29.06
Yesterday The Journal News broke the news that Hip-hop musician Styles P is recovering from a broken leg he got suffered during a road rage confrontation in Greenburgh. Apparently Mr. P (aka David Styles) got cut off by a truck on the Saw Mill Parkway, proceeded to cut the truck off in return, then got out of his car and began hurling napkins at the window. Really, the truck driver had no choice but to hit the rearend of P’s car, then the door, and then P himself.
All of which only reinforces that, when it come to road rage, nobody can top Mount Kisco rapper DMX. A brief highlight reel of his highway hijinks:
<li>In 2004 DMX (aka Early Simmons) chased down someone who took his parking spot at JFK airport, crashed his SUV through a toll booth, and then dragged the man out of his car and began brandishing a billy club. [AllHipHop]
<li>In 2005 he caused a three-car pileup involving a police cruiser on the Major Deegan. He ended up serving 70 days on Rikers Island in November, but was released for good behavior by Decemeber 30. [MTV News]
<li>Earlier this year, on June 2, he was pulled over for speeding and cutting off a motorist in White Plains. Because he was driving with a suspended license, he was ordered to appear in court. He then failed to show up, an arrest warrant was issued, and bail was set for $25,000. Furious and refusing to post bail, he spent a night in White Plains jail. [SFGate]
<li>Finally, this October, NYC police pulled him over for driving his 2001 Chevy Suburban uninspected in Yonkers, and the car was impounded. [SFGate]
Oh Styles P, you’ve got a lot to learn yet. Lesson 1: Next time you rage against a trucker, remember to bring your billy club and a good lawyer.
(Photo by Soul Brother)
You can simply enter suburbarazzi.com. How easy is that?!
It will still point you to this address, but using about half the number of keystrokes. Consider it a little New Year’s gift to you.
Why anyone would want to prolong the Rosie vs. Donald feud another week is beyond me. Oh, wait, that’s what I’m doing right now? Pfoey.
At least I’ve got good company in the form of Dallas Mavs owner Mark Cuban. The billionaire joined the fray just before Christmas, with a scathing “Trump the Chump” post to his blog. In case the title doesn’t give it away, Cuban has seized this moment for a little end-of-year Trump enema — he bashes “The Apprentice,” Trump University, Trump Magazine, Trump the Board Game, and Trump Water.
I can’t really fault Cuban, who was mocked repeatedly for the ill-fated “Benefactor” TV series, for holding a reality-TV grudge. But his assessment of the current Trump feud is a stretch to say the least:
This is about the role of blogs in all of this and how it really shows who understands new media vs old media.
Rosie gets it. Rosie has a blog, and she is using it in her battle with T the C. Its actually pretty good.</div></blockquote>
Saying that Rosie’s stream-of-consciousness r blog trumps the opinions of the Trump Blog (i.e. the Trump U faculty) — I’ll give you that. But hailing Rosie’s Alexa traffic numbers as evidence of her superiority in the information era? That’s just about the saddest argument I’ve ever heard.
(AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)
Year-in-Review Haiku: John Schneider • 12.28.06
Note to Good Ol’ Boy:
Death scenes belong on “Smallville.”
Santas Gone Wild • 12.28.06
Now that the obligatory three-day waiting period has passed, let the Saint Nicholas mockery begin!
Ã¢â‚¬Â¢ Ever wondered what Santa would look like if he was played by Rip Torn — and not the cuddly Larry Sanders version, but the mug-shot one arrested for a DWI in North Salem? Thanks to Gallery of the Absurd, now you know.
Ã¢â‚¬Â¢ Which is worse: Santa’s thumbs-up and O-faced reaction to Hayden Panettiere wrapping her legs around his mid-section, or the fact that I even found the photo in the first place?
Ã¢â‚¬Â¢ Apparently the Santa at the Palisades Mall is the only high-powered list-maker who doesn’t care to weigh on Rosie O’Donnell. As he put it to — shameless plug alert — Rockland Magazine: “Rosie? I wouldnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t comment on any individual people. Santa looks for the good in everybody and finds it.” Yeah, good luck with that.
Photo of Palisades Center Santa (aka Bill Barrett) by Mark Vergari / Rockland Magazine.
New show, new fame, new enemies: The View is doing better then ever, but RIP “Queen of Nice”. Now, it’s the Queen of Buzz. From insulting Chinese people to making one powerful billionaire (?) enemy…but don’t worry, I don’t think The Donald has a shot in hell of stealing Kelly away from you.
Welcome home, George • 12.28.06
After a 12-year side-trip to Albany, George Pataki is back where he belongsÃ¢â‚¬â€Peekskill. The governor, who ends his term in 6,591 minutes, has opened an office in his native city, where he served as mayor between 1982 and 1984.
What will he be doing in that office? Mulling a run for the presidency, perhaps? According The Journal News, the Gov wonÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t make any decisions on that front until the New Year.
If you want to stop by and welcome the man home, the office is located at 32 N. Division St. I hear he likes chocolate.
Brangelina is making YOU look bad — again • 12.27.06
How did you spend your Christmas? Were you imbibing in Star Magazine’s year-in-review issue and studiously monitoring shipments of the Nintendo Wii on iTrackr, like me? If so, then congrats, you’re now officially less of a humanitarian than Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Unlike selfish, superficial jerks like us, they spent Christmas Day hosting Colombian refugee families in Costa Rica. Jolie summed up her reasons for the trip to People Magazine:
“The conflict in Colombia is the greatest humanitarian tragedy in the Western Hemisphere, but it receives very little international attention … My Christmas message to Colombian refugees and to the millions of displaced people in Colombia is that the world has not totally forgotten them.”</div></blockquote>
OK, I already knew that Jolie, a Sneden’s Landing native, is a goodwill ambassador for the UN High Commission for Refugees and has always been giving of her holidays. But I always kind of assumed that those Thanksgiving trips to Pakistan (2005) and Cambodia (2006) were essentially just excuses to scout for new siblings for Maddox, Zahara, and Shiloh. Not this time, though.
No adoptions are in the works, the Colombian compassion was genuine, and, well — if I still insist on feeling superior to Brangelina (which I do), I’ll have to confine myself joking about her many lower-back tattoos.
(AP Photos/UNHCR/Boris Heger)