Eli visits Iona Prep

Those of us who had the good fortune to spend Thanksgiving in Jersey were treated to a dose of Tony Soprano’s favorite morning paper, the Star Ledger. While the reading experience was largely forgettable, one sports headline stood out: “Dear Eli: There’s No Easy Way to Say This. You’ve Been Kind of Stinky lately. So We Think it’s Time You Went Back to School.”

We’d almost forgotten about it until today, when one of our Suburbarazzi tipsters, Susie Arth, emailed to say, “Eli Manning will be at Westchester Country Club tomorrow evening addressing the Iona Prep football team.”

(The event costs $40 to get into and will be at 6:30pm at the Westchester Country Club, 99 Biltmore Ave, Rye. See more details HERE.)

Though we won’t be able to attend, if any of your Iona linebackers happen to be reading this, please explain one thing to Peyton’s woebegone bro: by “school,” the headline writer obviously meant college, not high school. Duh.


Ted Mann

Ted Mann aspires to join Stephen Baldwin’s Breakthrough Ministry, more commonly known as “skateboarding for the savior." Before becoming a Senior Editor at InTown, he worked at The Atlantic Monthly, the Philadelphia City Paper, and the University of Pennsylvania Press. His writing has also appeared in The New York Times, The New York Press, and The Pennsylvania Gazette.