Clay, Kelly, and Ro invent new sign language for homophobia

It’s hard to believe that the Clay-vs-Kelly-vs-Rosie feud has a longer shelf life than my Thanksgiving turkey, but, lo and behold, there’s more news to report:

• In case you missed the whole controversy — over whether Kelly was being germophobic or homophobic or Commerce Bankophobic when she bitched about Clay Aiken covering her mouth on air — you can watch a tidy recap of last week’s on-air events courtesy of this Gawker YouTube video.

• A Kelly Ripa fan site (which also doubles as a litmus test for the mentally unstable) posted a YouTube video of good ol’ Reeg sticking his filthy digits all over Kelly’s face, and her repaying the favor. Now, I’ve seen Regis slopplily eating hotdogs at Costco in Port Chester and can tell you this much: If you don’t like where Clay’s hands have been, Philbin’s mustard covered digits aren’t any better.

• While South Nyack’s Rosie O’D has since been forced by Barbara Walters to shut the hell up about Kelly and stop accusing her of being homophobic (Babs declared the feud “over” to People), Aiken went on the offensive, grabbing Tori Spelling’s boobages at the AMA awards. Which would have been an effective message … if the AMAs weren’t so overly gay.

Clay Aiken

Ted Mann

Ted Mann aspires to join Stephen Baldwin’s Breakthrough Ministry, more commonly known as “skateboarding for the savior." Before becoming a Senior Editor at InTown, he worked at The Atlantic Monthly, the Philadelphia City Paper, and the University of Pennsylvania Press. His writing has also appeared in The New York Times, The New York Press, and The Pennsylvania Gazette.